When you wish upon a sword
by metroanime
Summary: an omake, seperated from the original fic by request
1. Default Chapter Title

  
When you wish upon a sword...  
  
a Bet Omake by Gregg Sharp & Skysaber. all disclaimers, provisions, and limitations apply.  
  
this was originally the Omake for "Twisted The Board Game" but a *lot* of people suggested i send this out seperately. enjoy.  
  
=========================  
  
Nabiki smirked. "Everybody just LOVES Ranma." Now if she could just figure out a way she could get him to relinquish the sword and wish to her. She could think of *so* many uses for it.  
  
"*You* don't," Ranma pointed out.  
  
"Moi?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow at that, a plan beginning to gel. "Whatever makes you think that, Ranma-kun?"  
  
"You sell me out whenever you get the chance," grumbled Ranma. "Or sell me off."  
  
Akane was about to correct Ranma when she remembered a few "candid" shots of herself that had been sold to Kuno. "That's right, Nabiki. You don't care about anything besides money, do you?"  
  
"Hey!" Nabiki winced at that. Mainly due to the accuracy of that statement. "I don't sell out family."   
  
"Often," said Kasumi in a voice that was as soft as a leaf landing in snow.  
  
"Shampoo call her Mercenary Girl for reason."   
  
Ukyou shrugged and wondered aloud how many situations Ranma had been in that Nabiki had made worse. THAT got all of them thinking.  
  
Nabiki began to visibly sweat as she eyed the sword in Ranma's hands. "Uhm, Ranma-kun, this is getting away from the subject at hand. Shouldn't we be working on getting rid of your curse? Now, for a slight fee, I might. . ."  
  
Nabiki's voice trailed off as everyone started looking at each other and making an odd grin. It looked oddly familiar, but it took a few moments for Nabiki realized that it was her own "I've got you now" smirk. "Uhm, maybe I spoke a little hastily?"  
  
"Wishbringer, I wish that Nabiki. . ."   
  
Nabiki squawked. "NO! Ranma, you can't!" She mentally added that she would, in a heartbeat. One of the wishes she wanted to use would have had everyone else in the room her willing slave, that way she could work them into the ground and never have to lift a finger herself. She could see that and a thousand other fates being inflicted ON her instead of BY her. It was horrifying.  
  
Ranma sighed. He was *so* tempted. All he had to do was wish that Nabiki was a nicer person, or that she had a conscience, or that she liked something else more than money. It wasn't the curse he'd been wanting to get rid of, but it *was* becoming a curse on his existence. "Nevermind. Cancel that. That wasn't what I wanted to wish for."  
  
"Wish cancelled," the sword acknowledged. "Awaiting new input."  
  
Noting that he still looked tempted, Nabiki tried to avert disaster further. "Now, Ranma, you realize that you've been just as greedy as I have! When was the last time *you* did something for someone else without any thought of payback?"  
  
Ranma tried to remember and couldn't. Everytime he'd done a good deed, it had been a completely thoughtless gesture, and therefore he couldn't remember any such actions. He felt his stomach turn at the thought that he was actually like Nabiki. Of course, to prove it wrong, he ought to do something completely selfless with the last wish. But what?  
  
Ranma's eyes swept the room. They passed over the cute but fuming Akane, the still-a-little-panicked Nabiki, the unconcerned Kasumi, the cutely smiling Ukyou, and the trusting look from Shampoo. Ranma frowned a little as his eyes swept back to Kasumi, who was doing needlepoint. It occurred to him that Kasumi was often there, in the background, working a LOT of the time. Never complaining, rarely stopping. If he were to do a good deed with this last wish, as he STILL couldn't think of a way past the ("grant the pigtailed girl a wish"/being free of the curse = no pigtailed girl) paradox, wouldn't it be completely UN-Nabiki  
of him to pay someone back who'd never asked for it?  
  
Ranma tuned out the argument starting up between Shampoo and Akane, it was the same one they always had anyway. Besides, he was getting the feeling he was on to something important. It was the same kind of feeling when he was about to master a new martial arts technique, like shoving some great weight up a slope just before it slid down the other  
side.  
  
What could he do for Kasumi? She had been a mother to her sisters for so long. . .  
  
Ranma stopped. Mother? The Tendos had lost their mother. Ukyou had lost her mother. From what he had overheard, Shampoo had lost her own mother. They'd all grown up mom-less, like this was some kind of club for the Maternally Deprived. Even the Kunos...  
  
"Are you listening to me, baka?!" Akane yelled at Ranma who had an expression on his face she'd never seen before. A peculiar intense expression. "WELL?!"  
  
"That's it," whispered Ranma into the silence following Akane's question. The sword came up. "WISHBRINGER! I wish all our moms were alive, completely healthy, and here!"   
  
"Insufficient power for such a request."  
  
Ranma's face fell. Everyone else was still staring at Ranma in shock. "Oh, well how about just Mrs Tendo, then?"   
  
"Am requesting access to sufficient power to grant first wish. Working."  
  
---------  
  
The request went first to the Goddess Relief Office. Getting a busy signal, the request then went to the Earth Assistance Hotline. When that resulted in a voicemail message, the request went to the next power that could possibly do this task.  
  
------  
  
"Rival Relief Office, we do more with less. This is Grey, may i help you?" The reluctant demon listened to the message. "You're kidding? You're not kidding. Oh kay. Let me see if the system's got enough manna charged up. Nope."   
  
Grey paused. Doing more with the Barely Adequate (For Most Tasks) Force than some did with the Ultimate Force was a point of pride for the RRO. He couldn't let it go that easily. "Hmmm. We can reconstruct the bodies and handle the teleport OK. It's the lifeforce requirements that stick. Hang on. There may be a way to do this."  
  
Tapping wildly at all three keyboards, found in Timeline 394178 Aleph where the Devilhunters were about to rumble with the Senshi, diverted their manna into the system with a hacking program, then set up for a not-quite-Divine Intervention.  
  
------  
  
The phone rang. Kasumi went to answer it. "Ranma, it's for you. It's concerning your wish."  
  
Everyone blinked at that.  
  
"Uhm, who is it?" Ranma wondered briefly if Sasuke had snuck in and reported this to Kuno.  
  
"He says he's working in Heaven and has a way that you might be able to do the...first wish?!" Kasumi's voice broke a little. It was possible?!  
  
"Uhm, I. . ."  
  
"Oh for Hea-urk. Damn, I wish they'd lift that restriction. It really sucks having to refer to the place you work at with a bunch of metaphors." A portal formed in midair and an oddly dressed young man stepped out. "Look, I only gotta little time before I have to go back. The main problem is that there isn't enough lifeforce available for the three mothers that are dead. YOUR mom is alive and well over in Juuban, so there's no major problem there."  
  
"She is?" Ranma looked startled. He had a mother? She was alive? Why did he spend all that time with his Pop then?!   
  
"There's really a Heaven?" Nabiki's eyes began to bug out. If there was a Heaven, then there was a significantly higher chance that there was also a Hell. That could be a problem.  
  
"Yes," Grey said to Ranma then repeated the answer to Nabiki. "Oh, and yes there's a Hell, Tendo-san. It's not a nice place. Don't go there if you can avoid it. Just the suburbs are a pain. Pink flamingos everywhere. And you really don't wanna know what they're doing there. Uhm, oh yeah. THE PROBLEM! Saotome-san, can you spare some life force for a little while? Look at it as priming a motor before you can start it up."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh, not mechanically inclined in this timeline? How about, er, a match needed to light a campfire."  
  
"Uhm, can I get my wish then?" Ranma was trying to focus on some aspect of this he could deal with. This was weird even by his standards.  
  
"Yes," the demon said before vanishing.  
  
"Ranma," Akane began to caution. "Maybe you shouldn't..."  
  
"Then do it!" Ranma followed the tenets of the Saotome School. Action without thought.   
  
"Then your wish is my command," announced the sword.  
  
Ranma collapsed. Nobody else noticed as bodies suddenly appeared in the room.  
  
"Mother?" Kasumi stared, tear tracks forming at the sight of the pale figure weakly moving before her.  
  
"Mom?!" Akane wasn't even aware that she had stepped on Ranma's face to cross over to her mother's side.  
  
"Don't mind me," mumbled Ranma weakly.  
  
"Mother?" Nabiki said, crossing herself. She wasn't Christian but at moments like this, why take chances?  
  
"-Mother?!-" Shampoo stared at the Chinese woman struggling to rise.  
  
"Mama?!" Ukyou squeaked, unsure of the woman's identity, but she *did* look like a relative.  
  
The noise level rose abruptly with crying, laughing, two languages being spoken, and the occasional groan from the martial artist otherwise forgotten about on the floor.  
  
Ranma watched as three daughters Tendo carried their mother upstairs to rest. As Shampoo hauled the frail form of her mother off to the Nekohanten. As Ukyou struggled to support her own mother and take her to the Ucchan's.  
  
"Uhm, somebody? I can't move. Help?" Ranma gasped. He felt more helpless than he had during the time that Happosai had weakened him using the Weakness Moxibuxtion. This was nearly as bad as when Kodachi had paralyzed him, and then Akane had gotten angry and left him alone on the roof all night. It had been cold and wet that night. At least this was indoors. Though it felt a LOT colder than it had earlier. "Someone? Please?"  
  
His eyes tracked to the stairs. They'd abandoned him. Surely *one* of them could help him after he'd just done this thing. No, *everyone* had to go off at once. Shampoo and Ukyou at least had the excuse that carrying one person by themselves was a difficult task.  
  
Couldn't *someone* come back for him? He remembered that night. He hadn't had any idea of the problems Kodachi could cause or what to do. Kodachi had paralyzed him and would have kissed him but Akane rescued him from the kiss only to abandon him while he couldn't move. He *hated* being helpless.  
  
Then came the thought he might be stuck this way. Powders wore off, but the three moms were alive, so that meant lifeforce went their way, which meant...   
  
"Anybody?!! Help??" He choked out at what was for him maximum volume. He was beginning to feel real scared. No, he would NOT cry, he wouldn't...  
  
"Hello?"  
  
A voice came from the front of the house, footsteps followed. In moments a woman in a kimono and with reddish brown hair came into view. "Hello, I'm sorry. I was passing by this house and I heard a cry for help. Is anything the matter?"  
  
Ranma was blubbering. "I can't move." He whined out, his confidence gone with the rest of his power.  
  
"Oh dear, let me help you then." The woman lay down her bundle and began to arrange cushions. "Is this a frequent problem? Are there any medications I could fetch for you?"  
  
Ranma was bawling. "No, it ain't ever happened before."   
  
He was looked at with some concern. "Then what happened? What could have caused it? Did you injure yourself? I shouldn't move you if your back might be broken. Do you want me to call you a doctor?"  
  
Ranma discovered he couldn't even shake his head. Some martial artist he was. "No. It ain't that. I ain't hurt er nuthin." He sobbed off the rest of his words.  
  
"Then what could be the problem, why can't you move?" The woman asked.  
  
He considered telling her, then not, then.... aww, why the heck not? This stranger was being nicer to him than anyone he'd thought of as friend or family.  
  
"It's because I made a wish. I wished that the moms of my friends would be alive again, and here. Then some guy from Heaven showed up and said there was 'insufficient life force' or something and asked if I'd be willing to donate. And... and I agreed to it."  
  
It didn't come out that elegant. But pieced between the sobs and the mumbling and the repetitions, that was what she got.  
  
She blinked at the young man. "So you are saying magic made you like this? I'm not sure I can believe you."  
  
Oh, he had an answer to THAT alright! "If you don't believe in magic, just pour cold water on me. Go ahead, I can't *wait* to see the look on your face."  
  
Puzzled, the lady inquired the way to the kitchen and returned with a cool glass, which she poured delicately on the young boy's chest (the face seemed impolite). Then dropped the glass to the tatami mats when the young man morphed.  
  
"I... I see." The woman blinked several times at the young girl now lying before her.  
  
The moment of bitterness gone, passed with the worst of the sobbing, Ranma closed his eyes and found that it felt really good to have someone to listen to him for once. "I got a wishing sword from Kuno, I was going to use it to cure my curse so I can be a guy again. But I... instead I used it to... I made a wish that all our moms were alive and here again."  
  
The sobs threatened to return, but the well of pain was weaker now. "Then all my friends abandoned me here when I couldn't move. I guess... I dunno if I can blame 'em is all. They got their moms back, and that *would* kinduv occupy their attention. I know it would mine."  
  
The woman looked quite concerned. "Didn't you get your own mother back?"   
  
"I dunno. The guy who came said she lived in Juuban. I guess I could go see her sometime."  
  
The woman's heart went out to this youngster. "Do you know her name? I live in Juuban. I might know where she lives. If not I could ask."  
  
"I dunno. It's been ten years since I'd seen her. Pops always let me think she was dead. I," Ranma had to take a deep breath. "I don't even know what her name is anymore."  
  
"Then what is your name?" The woman decided to be businesslike about this. There were ways she could use to find the woman and reunite her with her lost child.   
  
"Ranma. Ranma Saotome. My pop's name is Genma Saotome."  
  
The woman could only stare at him. He began to think he'd done something wrong. "Look, if you're another person pops said I'd marry your daughter, or if he sold me to ya for food, I already got hundreds of things like that hanging over my head. So don't be trying to get me to marry somebody er nuthin like that.... err, why are you lookin at me like that?"  
  
The woman had tears running from her own eyes, but hadn't moved or budged. "Ranma. You say your name is Ranma?"   
  
He would have nodded, but was too weak to do so. So the boy-turned-girl merely said. "Yah."  
  
"And your mother lives in Juuban, and you wished for her to be alive and here?" The woman wished to be clear on this.  
  
Growing puzzlement on the young girl's face. "Yah."  
  
Gently and tenderly, the woman stroked the redhaired girl's face. "Well, here I am. My name is Nodoka Saotome. Pleased to meet you again, my son."  
  
If Ranma could have thought of anything other than what he was feeling at that point, he would have understood about how the others had reacted. At the end of a very tearful reunion, Nodoka lifted her bundle, and gave it to her offspring, wrapping her hands around it so that it wouldn't fall, and swept the girl up to carry her home.  
  
On their way out they noticed a letter with Ranma's name on it pinned to the door.  
  
Curious, they read it while they walked, which required much juggling and some fussing about with hands, but they managed it.  
  
"There ya go. Don't sweat it, Saotome-san. You'll be able to move in the morning, but you won't be back to full strength for about a week. A normal person'd be recovering from something like this for years. I don't expect the three mothers to be up to full strength for a long time. You did good, Saotome-san. I'm sure the Powers That Be have updated your files accordingly."  
  
There was a picture of the demon smiling at him and a P.S., along with a phone number.  
  
"Y'know, Saotome-san, you might try forgiving without the forgetting part. It'll solve you a lot of problems in the long run, mainly by not making the same mistakes over and over again. Just advice, y'know."  
  
As they walked further along, Nodoka said. "You know, son? I think that it was very brave of you to wish good things for others instead of a cure for yourself."  
  
The smaller redhead sniffled. "I ain't that brave. And I did try to cure myself, the sword wouldn't do it."   
  
Nodoka smiled, she was a mother again. "No dear, you could have wished for knowledge of how to cure your curse or many other things. But you didn't. You helped others. I am proud of you."  
  
Ranma started blinking. THAT kind of an answer hadn't occured to him!   
  
As they walked on into Juuban, Nodoka whispered. "But I do think I am going to have to do something about Genma."   
  
Ranma laughed weakly, leaned further into her mother's chest, and whispered. "I'll hold him down for ya."  
  
They laughed and walked on into the night.  
  
---------  
  
http://metroanime.home.mindspring.com/  
metroanime@mindspring.com  
  
"Still searching, still hoping, still alone."  
-N.Brazil  
  
yeah, yeah, i know. if i were using canon-manga, Akane would realize after a few hours that Ranma had been left downstairs, and would go down to find that his mother had already disemboweled and beheaded him for not being sufficiently manly. Not to mention that Ukyo didn't know  
Shampoo and Nabiki never came up with the "info service" concept, despite that Ukyo *had* met Cologne and heard Cologne call Ranma "son in law" during the Hiryu Shoten Ha storyline. Nor was Ranma able to convince Kuno to part with that last wish in the canon...  
  
i'm using the anime continuity and this is just a kinda "intended as an omake" story within the Bet anyway. ja ne, gregg  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

  
When You Wish Upon A Sword, Part Two  
  
by request, a round-robin fic  
so far by White Pheonix & Gregg Sharp(metroanime)  
  
-----------  
  
For the first time since meeting her, Ranma's mother showed some embarrassment as they neared their own home. The mother thought of how to put it delicately. "Um, Ranma dear?"  
  
The offspring was far too touched at the clear emotional tie between them to do much but nod, sighing deeply in a form of secure joy she had never known before.  
  
Nodoka hemmed and hawed for a bit as she fumbled, struggling to reach her keys without losing her hold on her precious burden, fighting for the right words for this. Then she brightened considerably. "When we are inside, please don't go into the basement? I'm afraid that I left it a dreadful mess, and it wouldn't do for you to have a first impression of your mother as a slob."  
  
There, problem dealt with. Nodoka smiled.  
  
Ranma-chan just sighed in her mother's arms. The words registering somewhere, but most of the transformed youngster's thoughts were luxuriating in the emotional flood still not yet abating from finally having a mother again, and what little wasn't was lost in feeling grateful that being in a girl's body lifted all the restrictions pops had drilled into her about boys never letting those things show.  
  
The words registered, but they didn't mean anything. The thought of anything being wrong about her mother was about as foreign as having her own foot for breakfast (and with Akane no longer present the odds for that had significantly lessened).  
  
The door keys were found and the portal to their abode opened, revealing to Nodoka's growing horror a green light and plentiful mist floating up the basement steps that opened upon their entry.  
  
The redhaired woman frowned. "Oh, bother."  
  
Finding herself set down, albeit gently, as her mother went downstairs a whole new spectrum of feeling in Ranma-chan objected that this wasn't right. She was just getting used to the closeness and finally exploring what it meant to be around someone you *liked* when it had to end. It wasn't fair!  
  
You really *cannot* experience the kind of emotive event Ranma-chan had been through unprepared without it effecting some change, at least temporarily. Not even aware enough of the change to struggle as yet, Ranma-chan trotted eagerly and gingerly, yet tremendously weakly downstairs after her mother, not willing to let their contact end and too immature and needy concerning things emotional to do otherwise.  
  
What she saw when she was halfway down the steps was almost enough to make her forget about her mother.  
  
Almost.  
  
It was a mad scientist's lab. It was also a junkyard, a fashion boutique of the unusual and an antique store as well. There were wide areas full of marvelous equipment, racks and racks of bubbling vials and beakers, intricate plumbing and wiring, spinning dials, a few oddly placed pairs of antennas with arcing volts of electricity and a matched pair of stuffed crocodiles set precariously on top of stacks and at least one unlaced suit of armor.  
  
Ranma's eye's widened at the sight. It practically called for a guy in a lab coat to be sewing together body parts or crying "It's alive!" while Indiana Jones used a whip to swing from the tip of that laboratory machine over to that table to snag that gold idol sitting there in plain sight amidst a field of spilled jewels and coins.  
  
Nodoka had stepped cleanly through paths of discarded helmets, leather boxes and primitive jewelry with the skill of long experience and was now at some central table or desk piled high with papers and rummaging through them. "Ugh, I know I left it around here *somewhere*. Aha!" She came up out of the pile with a paper held proudly in hand and called back over her shoulder. "Don't worry Ranma. I'll be up in a minute." Then she finally turned enough she saw Ranma on the steps. "Oh! No, don't touch that!"  
  
"What?" Ranma blinked innocently, taking one step away from the stuffed body of a giant, winged snake that had been lain, along with other odds and ends, well over halfway up the steps.  
  
Unfortunately, that was one step too far. She slipped on a loose coin and in a squawk of limbs the poor down on her luck martial artist flew wide off the stairs and into a display of ancient Greek pottery. By miraculous feat still made more impressive by her present state of weakness, the girl perched gingerly on top of a centuries old bottle without breaking it. But, exhausted by the simple feat, she toppled in a faint and straight over to dive headfirst into a massive pile of ancient swords.  
  
A last sword came cattering off the still-high stack, rattling in its sheath as it bounced off the floor, coming to rest half-drawn.  
  
Nodoka had fetched her daughter and checked her for injuries before the last sword had clattered down, then she could only sigh at her slacked and unconscious features. "Well, I only hope that she doesn't take after me for housekeeping."  
  
Ranma-chan moaned in her sleep.  
  
Nodoka once again scooped up her offspring, and smiled radiantly. "Well, time to get you to bed, dear. We'll talk in the morning."  
  
*****  
  
The crying, the congratulations, all had finally tapered off and the weakened figure of Kimiko Tendo lay upon her bed sleeping.  
  
Nabiki, being Nabiki, had never had this emotionally intense an experience before. The mental floodgates and barriers she'd erected over her life had been overwhelmed and she also slept.  
  
Akane, ever having the tendency towards emotional excesses, had likewise passed out somewhere along the line. It was unlikely that she would be able to be pulled from her mother's side for some time.  
  
Kasumi, being Kasumi, had merely covered her mother to make sure she was comfortable, then slowly managed to make Nabiki comfortable on a futon. Another futon was brought in, and Akane carefully tucked in. Knowing the sleeping habits of Akane and Nabiki from previous nightside vigils, Kasumi knew that Akane would kick her covers off soon anyway, while Nabiki would remain nearly motionless.  
  
Opening the door to Ranma's room, Kasumi saw that neither Uncle Saotome nor Ranma were there. Of course, that peculiar fellow had said something about drawing on Ranma's strength, so maybe Ranma was still where she had last seen him.  
  
Then Kasumi crept down the stairs, thinking of checking on Ranma though her own emotional exhaustion was rather severe at the moment. The burden of being mother to her two sisters, of being the "guardian of household wa" and maintainer of everything wasn't ready to be put aside yet. There WAS the very good possibility of laying those burdens aside, however, and in the near future.  
  
Kasumi wasn't worried. It was Ranma, after all, and he was never down for long from even the most ridiculously dangerous attacks.  
  
There was the outline of Ranma's form - a silhoutte of a water stain.   
  
Kasumi saw this, put it together with the earlier comment about Ranma's life force being used to bring back the various mothers, and came to an obvious conclusion.  
  
At which point Kasumi did something *very* unusual and fainted.  
  
It *had* rather been an eventful day.  
  
*****  
  
Sasuke was always reliable.  
  
True, he was more her brother's servant than her own, and the little rascal had the nerve to fail to exactly fulfill some of her demands, but when the little ninja agreed to do something he was generally prompt with service.  
  
And since she had been two the little ninja had read her bedtime stories.  
  
Sure, odd times of difficulty had arisen, the ancient family home had been riddled with conflict practically since its foundation. The out of the ordinary moments of attempting to kill the little creep for his affronts against her or attempting to defy her will had resulted in arrangements such as speaking through a long tube (ended when she tossed poison down it one time she had *truly* been upset), over radio (ended when she bought a radio-seeking missile on a whim she would never fully describe), by intercom (ended when Tatewaki had one of his traditional moments and ordered the installations removed), and lately the loyal if somewhat bumbling retainer had taken to leaving her bedtime stories read to her and recorded on tape if they were having a short spat.  
  
But Kodachi couldn't think of any difficulty she and the ninja could be having, and having waited up almost half an hour in her nightgown (pale, embroidered with black roses but really far more mousey than any of her daytime rivals or associates would anticipate) she had found she couldn't sleep.  
  
In truth, the crazy gymnast, as well as their whole household, had been unbalanced in the loss of their mother. A dear, sweet soul who had bound them like iron will bind to the gravity of a strong magnetic star, and whose loss had set them spinning crazily like planets without a sun to orbit.  
  
Sasuke's bedtimes stories, however interrupted or delivered, had been the last thing like unto her mother's light and Kodachi just couldn't end the day without them.  
  
Perhaps it was that thought that led her steps to where they ever wanted to go, yet her mind could rarely take her.  
  
There was a wing of the mansion unlike any other. It was ringed with ancient traps set to a most lethal degree, but all those within had been disarmed by nonverbal truce since the day their mother first entered it with the stoic young man whom two children would later call father. Often Kodachi when she was little had fled to this place to cry for hours without end, clutching the empty bed sheets of her unforgotten mother.  
  
Sometimes Tatewaki was there too.  
  
They never talked within those halls. They never said much of anything to each other, really. But there seemed a special sort of peace that hung over that place, a shrine that neither they nor their broken and strangely twisted father could ignore, nor would any dare break.  
  
When the lives of those who dwelt therein were endangered and emotions ran truly high, they had always avoided this place, knowing that to tred their broken, wicked feuds therein would be to extinguish the last memory any of them had to a real home, and not a battleground in which one had islands or uncertain safety and scattered hiding places.  
  
Other families spoke of it, but the Kunos really had a shrine. It may have been a bedroom and a few short halls, but it was home to their hearts even when their bodies were locked in deadly struggle.  
  
The softly slippered feet of a young girl led her there.  
  
Kodachi stopped in amazement, able to tell at an instant that the doors had been laid open and the array of traps, intended to keep this MOST sacred part of Kuno soil ever apart from the tred of unhallowed feet, had been disarmed and left that way.  
  
This was unprecedented. Usually, on those infrequent occasions when it happened of late, the family would enter one at a time, resetting the traps behind as they went along. It was so automatic and thorough that to enter one would never know if one's dear brother or lunatic father had already gone before. To leave this place open was almost heresy, like letting that special aura out where it would mix with the common air - to be lost to Kunos forever.  
  
Kodachi was so stunned at this outrage, this malicious defilement, that she took no thought for her clothes or weapons, and strode most powerfully into her mother's former chambers.  
  
And stopped in shock.  
  
"Ah, mistress Kodachi." Sasuke looked up. "Would you come and help please? I'm afraid a dog attacked me on the way home, and your mother needs..." He never even finished the phrase.  
  
Kodachi was instantly beside him, yet no attention was paid to the loyal ninja presently suturing his own wounds.  
  
"How Sasuke? How?"  
  
The loyal retainer blinked. Kodachi had sounded? Well? He sniffled back a tear of his own, remembering younger days of a little two year old who would trust him with anything, and love him like an uncle. "Mistress Kodachi, when master Kuno gave that sword of his to the pig-tailed-one he bade me follow after so I could tell him what she did with the last wish."  
  
"And?" The threat of hostile noteworthy action was not present, it was merely... scary to see her so controlled actually.  
  
The little ninja swallowed. "When the time came for her to wish I swear I heard her make mention of your name, mistress Kodachi. But instead of retribution or attack, she wished for your mother to be restored to you." He prayed she wouldn't notice the fingers crossed behind his back, but Kodachi's attention was all on the form placidly asleep beneath those covers so often clasped between chubby fingers while sobbing tears of unspeakable loss.  
  
Sasuke bit back surprise. Kodachi was crying? He felt touched as some of the child he used to know emerged in that hardened face while it seemed rivers of tears burst slowly apart the dam that had been built to hide the glad-faced child he once knew.  
  
"Was that it then?" She asked, still outwardly unmoving while the pertinent facts were being developed.  
  
"Not quite, mistress." Sasuke flinched as he made another needle stitch. It really was quite important to him to get this leg sewn back up before the artery he'd been holding with his other hand bled too much. The rug in here was important. "A being of some power appeared and explained the sword did not have that ability. Then master Ranma offered his own life in exchange for your happiness." The retainer paused between stitches. "But the being did not take master Ranma's life, only his strength. I didn't see much after that, as your mother appeared in a glorious flash of light and it fell upon me as my highest responsibility to get her back to you that the pig-tailed one's wish and Ranma's sacrifice not be in vain. But a dog attacked me, and since I couldn't fight very well and still defend your mother..."  
  
The ninja was staring at his leg. Had Kodachi used powders? He hadn't noticed her stitching him up, or applying the salves, or the gauze, or the bandages or the ointments or the creams or...  
  
Medical science does not know of the many powers of potent chemicals to the same extent as Kodachi Kuno. Sasuke was placed in a small bed and lovingly tucked in, with a brush to the forehead one might give the dearest of friends. Then Kodachi went, saw to it that her mother had adequate bedclothing and was not in want for food or drink...  
  
...then promptly crawled in beside her, curled up, and bawled away fourteen years of abject horror, loss, recrimination and suffering clutching her mother's side.  
  
****  
  
Pajamas.  
  
That was the first thing to penetrate Ranma's foggy mind in the morning. Pajamas. She was wearing cotton, filmy things that it took some time for her groggy mind to identify until she ran across a correlation from having seen the Tendo girls so often in their sleepwear. They didn't always wear modest and frilly nightgowns (Kasumi), long Tee shirts (Nabiki), or tight leather straps with spiked dog collars (though Akane usually hid that outfit under something else and seemed mortified when he'd found out).  
  
No, sometimes they wore plain and simple bedclothes that were a little shapeless yet looked comfortable. On Kasumi they looked less elegant than her usual, on Nabiki they inevitably had yen symbols, and Akane frequently wore hers to hide her leather underwear.  
  
Ranma was wearing pajamas.  
  
As her body seemed so reluctant to jumpstart itself this morning, Ranma-chan's mind wandered over the unfamiliar topic while waiting for her brain to come to some sort of decision about when to start moving. The pajamas didn't feel all that different in form to her usual Chinese   
clothing style, but they were a great deal more soft and an equal amount less smooth. A tiny corner judged that they'd be easy for a rival to grab hold of, thus not a good thing to fight in.  
  
With a catlike yawn and bleary eyes the girl sat up, letting the covers fall from her and sliding her legs over the side of the bed she'd lain on. Her mind spent some time on the fact that she'd never slept in a bed before, not since leaving home.  
  
Home.  
  
That thought was worth her eyes going wide. She smiled. It was like a dream come true, or more than that as the pigtailed martial artist had never dared to dream anything this good. It was worth a *wide* smile and considerably more energy flowed through her at the thought.  
  
Getting up, she noticed she at least had the power to move today, though not too much. It felt analogous to being beaten and bruised all over while at the same time very sick and desperately hungry. (Yes, her memory provided just such a familiar example from training trips, and this felt like that. Her pops had felt they made good training). Best in all ways if she could take the next few days easy and not hurt herself, delaying her recovery even more.  
  
But it wasn't as if her mom would take to beating on her when she was sick like Genma did to 'toughen'...  
  
Ranma's throat tightened, and a stab of grief/pain was felt. How did SHE know her mom wouldn't be like Genma? Her mom *had* married him, after all. Wouldn't that mean they were the least bit alike? Oh, but contradicting that was the lovely tender feelings they'd shared when they'd met last night. She never could've gotten that from her father, the rogue would make some excuse to shout at him, break it all if it had ever happened in the first place. No, there *HAD* to be differences between her mom and Genma. Genma couldn't be kind without a bribe before his face.  
  
Ranma resolved not to upset her mother, just the same.  
  
Then she recalled the sword she wasn't supposed to lose, and where it must have fallen last night. Better recover that before her mom asked where it was. Supporting herself with a hand on her bedpost, she tested her trembling legs, then very carefully made her way downstairs, the soft teddy bear pajamas rustling too softly to be heard.  
  
Ranma managed to move slowly out to the kitchen.  
  
Where she was promptly seated and faced a massive amount of breakfast.  
  
"How long do you suppose you'll remain weakened?" Nodoka asked as her son/daughter slowly made her way through eggs and toast.  
  
"Guy's note said a week."  
  
Nodoka looked at the note, was momentarily thoughtful, then picked up the phone.  
  
"Hrmmm wrrfff mfffffmmm?"  
  
"Chew and swallow, dear."  
  
*gulp!* "Who ya callin'?"  
  
"This fellow who did all this. 'Grey' the signature says. He may know of manners in which your strength can be recovered more quickly."  
  
"Hai, moshi moshi, Rival Relief Office. This is Tennyson. What you want?"  
  
Nodoka blinked. "This isn't a speakerphone..."  
  
"Yah, well, figured I'd make it a conference call. Hmmm. Mortal plane, let's see. Hmmm," the voice said from the phone as if the whole thing were a speaker. It sounded odd as if the speaker were not quite human. "Well, ain't got all day, y'know."  
  
"I wish to speak to Grey, a worker at your establishment." Nodoka paused. "I have questions regarding my son's wish."  
  
"Oh, it's dat kinda thing. Hmmm. Let's see who I can get. He's off on a Labor, so... gotcha. A consultant will be with you shortly. Have a nice day."  
  
"Hello? Hello?" Nodoka regarded the phone curiously for a moment. "How odd. But then I've rarely interacted with nonhuman intelligences directly."  
  
--------  
  
If they had been able to see the speaker, it was likely that Nodoka Saotome would have been rather alarmed. There was no telling what Ranma's reaction might have been.  
  
Ten eyes waved on eyestalks directly above the sphere that was Tennyson's central body. That central body sported another single large eye, and directly below that was a mouth. Had Ranma attacked this creature, he would have discovered that there were a lot of nasty things that those various eyes could do besides looking at you.  
  
However, Tennyson was the beholder god of "Live & Let Live" so perhaps it wouldn't have come to that.  
  
One eyestalk focussed on a small device near where he floated. "Celeste, please."  
  
The sounds of a driving rock band could be heard in the background. "Hi this is Celeste, goddess of J-pop. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but the life of a SysOp is fraught with interruptions. Or something like that. Leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I put the current fire out."  
  
Tennyson's facial architecture wasn't really built to scowl, so he used a minor illusion to do so. "Voice mail. Bleah, let's try..."  
  
******  
  
Nodoka Saotome's hair endeavored to escape from its bun and stand on end as a glowing portal of light materialized with a hiss in the air directly before her.  
  
A man wearing yellow and orange flowing garments ran through the door and threw his body weight against it, attempting to slam it closed as dozens of female arms snaked through the cracks. With a desperate effort he managed to seal it, whereupon the door and the arms vanished.  
  
Panting, the man leaned against the wall and wiped the sweat from below his elaborate feathered headdress and looked at his audience, specifically at Ranma. The arrival then joined them at the table and asked.  
  
"Ever have one of those days where you wake up on a pyramid in sort of sun god robes with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"  
  
Both Saotomes solemnly shook their heads, unable to trust words. Then Nodoka got a thoughtful look, smiling slightly in a pleased sort of way.  
  
The man in sun god robes rolled his eyes heavenward. "Why am I the only one to have those days?"  
  
The man put the headdress idly aside. "Oh, well. Give it time, Ranma, you probably will. Anyway, what was the call about? Grey not give you enough info last time? He's off on assignment right now, otherwise he would've taken your call. Anything a minor godling can do? I can't stay long else I'll start to acquire love interests all over again. I only have a couple  
hundred wives, but somehow they are all convinced I need more. You ought to hear Mina discourse on how all women who aren't married to me are all being somehow deprived. I think she's almost as bad as Shan. But I keep wandering off topic. How are you two today?"  
  
Nodoka looked thoughtful but didn't say a thing. Ranma was freaking out, though far too tired to display it much. That line about 'you probably will' having taken the martial artist's worldview and shattered it. No doubt about it, he was *never* going to get free of the fiancee mess.  
  
Nodoka noted the boy had accepted the tea with evident displeasure. "Please, take a seat. You know about my son's condition?" She was attempting to be polite as he scowled and mumbled something momentarily into the tea.  
  
Jared sat down, eyes twinkling as with a flourish of green sparkles the liquid in his teacup transformed into something amber and pleasantly aromatic. Both Saotome noticed their own cups' contents change to the same color and a spurt of green sparkles from the spout of the kettle.   
The redhaired young god took a sip and smiled. "Oh yes, not bad as far as nectar of the gods is concerned. Now which condition did you want to consult on?"  
  
"Which one?" Ranma asked simultaneously to Nodoka staring in awe at her humble teakettle.  
  
"Oh sure," Jared idly summoned a plate of round little spice cakes and took a bite before he started ticking off on his fingers. "Ah, ambrosia is really the only thing to go with nectar. Let's see, there's all the times he's been sold by Genma. There's the Catfist problem, the multiple engagements and fiancees (and boy I know how *that* one goes!), the Jusenkyo curse, frankly I consider him being raised by Genma to be another curse and I'm not alone in that opinion, there's the current weakness from his lifeforce being drained to almost untenable levels, then there's..."  
  
Nodoka and Ranma both began to loose focus as the boy ran out of fingers and started over again. "He WHAT?!"  
  
"Oh sure," Jared said. Then proceeded to relay something he'd seen in the pre-insertion briefing on this meeting. A deal Genma made involving Ranma being sold to the spirits of "The Hungry Ghost's Temple & All Night Eatery" by Genma when he found that walking out on a large bill was *not* tolerated.  
  
"Son, I'm really sorry that I allowed Dearest to take you on that trip."  
  
Ranma merely nodded.  
  
Jared very politely cleaned the crumbs off his fingers and took another sip from his teacup which held anything but tea. Again he smiled. "Now as far as personal revelations go Ranma, your mom is a very interesting person. She's led a life almost as dangerous and interesting as yours was since you parted, but hers was FAR more rewarding. Among her peers she's known as 'Nippon Nodoka' and indulges in the sort of active archeology that producers held as the primary inspiration behind the movie hero Indiana Jones. There are really only two or three rivals which can frequently beat her to a prize."  
  
Nodoka was blinking, her attention wandering between their divine house guest, the teapot, her child and her own thoughts. She commented in supreme distraction. "They were really very tame in their interpretations of the dangers we go through for that movie."  
  
Ranma goggled.  
  
Jared smiled, she was definitely his sort of parent. "Now, Saotome-san here has spent the last eight years as an adventurer - and while she's not used to things in Japan being as nuts as in a Mayan graveyard during an eclipse, I'm sure you can adapt." Jared nodded towards the lady   
adventurer.  
  
Some of Nodoka's professionalism surfaced. "Well, most of my work isn't nearly so exciting..." She demurred.  
  
Ranma looked at his mother and his respect for her went up a notch. Sounded exciting.  
  
"From Grey's notes in the dossier, he figured Ranma could handle his problems a lot better if he just had someone to talk to. Which is why he left the note. It's a pity that all your female acquaintances view you more as an object than a person, Ranma." Jared sighed, shaking his head.  
  
"It's not like I asked for any of them," grumbled Ranma, dousing himself with hot water, then immediately regretted it as he felt even weaker. Akane hadn't even checked on him. Or noticed that she'd stepped on him. Pfeh. ~I wish that if I *had* to be engaged, it would be to someone who'd listen to me.~  
  
Nodoka looked at her son. ~I wish Ranma had a nice girlfriend, it would certainly be manly.~  
  
In the basement, a disturbed relic moved. ~I wish I were human.~  
  
"Granted. Oh DARN!" Jared hung his head. "Just a moment."  
  
Nodoka nodded then the two watched curiously as Jared pulled out a cell-phone and put in a very long number.  
  
"Hello, Central? Jared. Now, look I just heard three *very* heartfelt wishes, saw a way each of 'em could come true in one effort, and spoke without thinking about it. Can you retro me the authority to do that? Look, I'd do it myself but you know who'd find me. You shouldn't laugh so   
hard, Celeste. Well, it was worth a shot." Jared terminated the call and let out a deep breath. "Uhm, your wish has been approved."  
  
Much blinking. "What wish?" asked Nodoka.  
  
"Was there a storm in the forecast?" Ranma wondered what all that rumbling was.  
  
"You, mom, wished that your son Ranma had a nice girlfriend. Ranma wished that someone would listen to him. Err. You know that faceless statue you picked up in the Antarctic?" Jared shrugged apologetically. "Well, that wasn't a statue."  
  
"Not a statue?" ~MOM!!!?!~  
  
"Like Ranma, someone who had been raised to be a weapon. Someone who craved another life to lead that wasn't filled with violence and hate." Jared mumbled that at least this wasn't yet another fiancee of *his.*  
  
"YESSS!! I'm ALIVE! ALIVE!"  
  
Jared spread his hands and grinned, as if to say "Well, what can I do?". "Uhm, that would be Ranko."  
  
"Ranko?" Nodoka asked.  
  
"This *might* take awhile," said Jared a little ruefully.  
  
=========  
  
end chapter two  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: When You Wish Upon A Sword  
  
Wish in haste, repent at leisure  
  
a round robin fic in progress. this chapter by Skysaber and Metroanime.  
  
------  
  
A brief wind blew in the dining area, from the basement steps to the bathroom. A flash of pink was all that was seen aside from a glimpse of red hair.  
  
Sounds of the shower entering use began almost immediately. A second later someone emerged to lean wetly around the corner and wave to the assembled residents. "Hi there! Thank you for wishing me normal!"  
  
Then she was gone, only a puddle, wide eyes and fallen jaws to tell that she'd been there. Jared went on calmly nibbling ambrosia. He smiled into his cake. "She'll learn modesty once she gets the concept of gender, I'm sure. For now she's too childlike to understand any of that."  
  
Ranma's jaw was swaying gently in the breeze.  
  
Nodoka had managed to blink her eyes down to their normal sizes. "Um...? Why did that young girl look identical to my son's cursed form? And for that matter, what is she doing in our bath?"  
  
The godling smiled more widely, as if hiding part of a secret not yet ready to tell. "In reverse order. She's not even beeo dusted in ten thousand years, what would you do if you awoke and felt that dirty? Second," they couldn't be sure if he was coughing or chuckling. "Um, that was part of the wish, actually."  
  
"Wish?" Nodoka asked.  
  
Ranma's jaw was still creaking in the wind.  
  
"The one that just got approved." Jared informed them. "For your edification, the first was Ranma wishing to be engaged to someone who would listen to him, and by inference understand and be kind to him. You wished for him to have a nice girlfriend. *She* wished to be human, and by a fair and generous interpretation, also wanted those things that make human life happy, interesting and enjoyable; most important of those being nice people to share it with. Since they interleaved so nicely and   
were so heartfelt, I decided to grant them all in ways that would fulfill each other. She is a human, able to understand Ranma and be a good girlfriend to him."  
  
Nodoka's mind was spinning from the information, but also the implications. There were plenty of ways to get wishes in this world, but most of them made sure you regretted you ever tried to use them by interpreting those wishes in the worst ways possible. To have someone sitting by her side who would grant them GENEROUSLY!  
  
Jared chuckled into his nectar. "Sorry mom, but you really don't need that dress you saw in the storefront window. Besides, the seams were poorly done." He paused. "Then again, that wish about not having married Genma, I'm *sorely* tempted to grant. But there's no way Celeste would grant me THAT favor. I think she's afraid if she's nice to me she'll fall in love and marry me."  
  
There came a clap of thunder and a small earth tremor.  
  
The afterimage of a bouncing, beautiful bosom finally faded and Ranma's eyes returned to normal size. He cranked up his jaw enough to whisper. "Man, no *wonder* I'm able to scam ice cream so easy."  
  
Nodoka was sure there were at least three events of major importance going on here, but trying to keep track of them all was making her dizzy. "Excuse me, but why do you again refer to me as your mother?"  
  
Suddenly the godling had turned SD and was directing a shining eyed childish face up to the woman. *Sniffle!* "Oh, but you *are* my mother. Or at least you were in another world before I went and became an Enlightened Immortal." He turned his tiny head and wiped a tear aside. "The lives pass so quickly, now."  
  
Nodoka found she was holding the child with no conscious recollection of having picked him up. He perked up immediately, though stayed in child form. Happily, he chirped. "Anyway, since the weapon platform now named Ranko was to *understand* my brother, and she was still too new to this whole being alive business to do so right away, she had to look like him so that she'd be subjected to most of the same experiences. It was easier that way."  
  
The child's watch began to vibrate.  
  
"Ooops." The child slapped it, hopping away. "Now I'd better hurry. I don't have time to tell you all the cures, so the important ones." He hauled out a giant, pink, plushy feline almost obscuring him. "Hey, Ranma!"  
  
"What? AACK!" Ranma scrambled back three feet, then halted. "Wait a second..."  
  
The chibi-godling stuffed the giant plush cat away where it came from, chuckling as he did so. "The Giant Stuffed Toy of Catfist Curing. I run into universes where I need that *all* the time. Genma is such an idiot anywhere I go. Hehe, anyway, no more fear or cats, no trigger for the catfist. One down."   
  
Suddenly the chibi-god was in holy regalia, waving a scepter at Ranma and shouting. "I cast out from thee the Demons of Stupidity!"  
  
Ranma's heart crawled down his throat and hid in his belly when the superimposed image of a demonically horned and leering Genma appeared over him, then drifted apart from him and faded out. For some reason the image came inescapably to mind of the godling doing the same to Genma and leaving nothing behind but an empty gi.  
  
Nodoka was flabbergasted. The godling saw her expression and turned, waving the stick. "You too."  
  
An unpleasant sensation of butterfly winged Genma faces flew out from her ears, leaving the poor woman in shock. Especially when the godling put away the rod and pulled out a brightly glowing sword. "+5 Sword of Righteous Retribution, Attack!!"  
  
It began to rain severed butterfly wings and sliced up Genma heads, which vanished upon reaching the floor. Ranma was currently hiding under their table, where his mother quickly joined him, both resolving that a lot less Genma in their lives was a good thing.  
  
The child checked his watch. "Two down, no more time to go."  
  
Jared jumped into the air, regaining full size and snatching again his headdress. "Physical contact with high chi energy is what Ranma and the moms need. Get them around happy, healthy people and lots of natural beauty. The more and better sources they are touching, the faster their life energy will recover." With that, the godling hauled open the shimmering, silvery door midair and dove through it, eliciting a cry of "There he is!" before the portal closed behind him.  
  
Deeper in the house, the sound of the shower cut off and a VAST sigh of pleasure, shaking their home to its root, echoed throughout, proving that Ranko had entered the furo. Moments later she began to sing softly, an ancient melody in a forgotten language.  
  
Ranma's mom, lost in thought, picked up her teacup full of nectar.  
  
Ranma absently reached for an ambrosia cake.  
  
-----------  
  
"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"  
  
The waterworks display was impressive, not only for a volume that proved she was a daughter of Soun Tendo, but for the individual doing it.  
  
"There, there, Nabiki," comforted Kasumi, a little teary eyed herself.   
  
"But I was such an evil mercenary soulless bitch to him! Now he's done something like this, but I can't repay him! Waaaaaaaaah!"  
  
Nabiki had been cold, mercenary, a control freak ever since her mother had died. Money was the best way to keep score and was a measure of control on her environment. All this had been a reaction built up over the helplessness she'd felt while watching her mother become consumed with that fatal illness. Now, with the return of her mother, that iron control had fallen apart.  
  
"Waaaaaaaah! I've been an evil, self-serving, arrogant, prideful, possessive, psycho-bitch!" A wail came from the chair where Kimiko was cradling her youngest daughter. "I've been mean and petty and hateful!"  
  
"So have I!" Nabiki countered.  
  
Anything Goes Guilt Contest. Nabiki was clearly winning, though Akane was beginning to catch up. Unfortunately, both Nabiki and Akane had always had a level of competition - though Nabiki tried for intellect and Akane was physical, and this was coming into play here. Especially now that the attention of their returned mother was involved.  
  
Kasumi's eyes met her mother's as they attempted emotional damage control. Privately both were more worried about Nabiki than Akane, simply because Akane had always been more prone to emotional excesses. Nabiki coming unglued was stranger and more difficult to fully grasp. Especially for Kasumi, who had gotten used to the manipulative witch that had manifested after   
their mother's death.  
  
Soun Tendo was into his fourth bottle of celebratory sake and not available for comment.  
  
Genma was also into sake, and while he could rejoice for his friend, something else was occupying his mind. ~Boygone. Gonnadie. Gonnadie. Katana go chop chop. Headless panda. Boygone. Gonnadie.~ This loop kept returning, interspersed with frantic idea-searching. Nodoka would *never* forgive this, so waiting for it to blow over was futile. Maybe a long training trip? Or he could find a substitute Ranma? Plans began to form, but plans developed after the third bottle had been downed were not necessarily up to even Genma's usual standards.  
  
~Needaboy. Gonnadie. Gottahaveaboy. Anyboy. Getaboy. Get a substitute. Tell her it's her son. Getaboy. Anyboy. Who?~  
  
Ukyo appeared in his mind¹s eye and became fixed there before he fainted, passed out from too much sake and emotional distress combined. Over his recumbant form danced a circle of little Nodokas with little katanas striking repeatedly in the air.  
  
Akane pulled ahead by claiming she was an abusive, unforgiving, monster who had ruined the boy for love.  
  
Nabiki countered that she had been pushing an innocent toward being a cheap whore, and didn't deserve to live because she'd been stealing from the kindest man she ever knew. (Admittedly this wasn't saying much due to the quality of males at Furinkan.)  
  
Akane kept her lead by admitting that as his fiancee she'd been forcing Ranma to hurt the girls who really loved him.  
  
Kasumi helplessly met her mother¹s gaze as her two sisters both broke out into wordless wailing, causing waterfalls which formed puddles and ran into streams on their floor.  
  
Soun broke out his fifth bottle of sake.  
  
----------  
  
"The doctor is finished, Mistress Kodachi."  
  
The family was gathered around a small, round table, for once in utter stillness. They had at first all been crowded into the bedroom, but that triggered talking and jockeying for position and rivalry until the doctor had finally ordered them out so that he could get his work done. Since then they'd been seated so still they might think to breathe would induce bad news.  
  
Kodachi nodded regally, having had seniority as the one who'd called the doctor, or ordered Sasuke to do it, but that amounted to the same thing in this household. "Thank you, Sasuke. What did he say?"  
  
"I'd like to answer that myself, if I may." Dr. Tofu entered their little study, setting his glasses more firmly on his nose. "But first I'd like to ask why you called me all the way from Atsuga to deal with this case. I know of many fine doctors who were a great deal closer."  
  
The Kuno family remained unnaturally, almost frighteningly, still. Kodachi answered. "You¹ve treated both the pig-tailed girl and my Ranma-sama. You were trustworthy."  
  
"I see." Tofu concluded, light frosting his glasses as he considered this answer. Then he gave his diagnosis. "Well, your mother is indeed very weak. Physically there's nothing wrong with her other than a lack of life energy. Her chi has been reduced so low I could barely find it."  
  
Tatewaki raised his head, still dressed in kendo attire and with a bokken in one hand, having learned the news of his mother's revival once he'd begun his morning practice. "Her chi is low as a result of her being dead, Dr. Tofu. It was a wish made by my pigtailed goddess and the sacrifice of my rival, Ranma Saotome, that returned her to life."  
  
The weight of these facts returned Tatewaki's head to facing the ground, recalling those first wishes he¹d spent so carelessly. "I am indebted to both of them for their noble service to my house and clan. A debt I know not how to repay."  
  
Tofu made a considering frown. "Hmm, that would certainly explain a few things. I admit, I *had* wondered why you would call me this far, and so I looked up her records. Finding a death certificate on file for her I had even more puzzlement why I was coming here. Now I suspect I know." He raised his face and laughed. "Unfortunately, bureaucracy doesn't deal well with these sorts of issues. I can't simply file a Ressurrection Certificate, as they simply don't have any such document."  
  
"We be takin' care o da papework dokto'." Kuno the senior answered. "You no be worryin over sumtin like dat. Da big kahuna be knowin da ways of it."  
  
Kodachi elegantly and simply took an envelope full of cash and held it on the table before her, release pending answers to her next question. "What we are interested in, doctor, is the treatment for her condition."  
  
Tofu gave the envelope a glance but not much thought, standing straighter as he answered. "Well, barring a master of chi techniques who is willing and able to donate, the best thing for her would to be in places of high natural chi where she could soak some in. I'd recommend the beach, personally. Areas of surf or other natural phenomena are often very high in life energy."  
  
Principal Kuno lifted his palm tree topped head to gaze through his sunglasses at the doctor. "You be meaning tings like volcanoes and what, dokto?"  
  
Tofu considered this. "Well, yes, active volcanoes can be tremendous sources of natural life energy, provided they aren't dangerous to the patient. Also waterfalls and some springs, the trick is to find some. The beach is usually much more readily available."  
  
Principal Kuno stood up, looking at his children. "Pack your tings, little keikeis. We be goin to da islands fo a *long* vacation."  
  
Dr. Tofu was ready to find his way to the door when Kodachi approached him, much more mild in her kimono than he'd ever seen her wearing her school uniform or leotard. She gave him the envelope, saying. "We are grateful for your help, Dr. Tofu. Would you perhaps be willing to consider staying on as a retainer for us? For the duration of our mother's illness at the least? We could easily pay you this much weekly."  
  
The physician accepted the envelope and glanced inside. Instantly his glasses fogged up. "Wow! ehehe, of course! Just let me get my bags, Kasumi. Oh, my how you've changed, Betty-chan."  
  
The overpaid chiropractor shook a suit of armor's hand and wandered, blinded and blissful, off into the deeper corners of the mansion.  
  
Kodachi wisely sent Sasuke to lead him safely out.  
  
-----------  
  
Cologne hit a sleep shiatsu point and Shampoo's mother ceased her attempts to struggle around. "Just as stubborn as always. If she'd taken it easy the first time she was nearly dead, she might have survived. Tsk."  
  
Shampoo nodded absently.  
  
"Child, you're dehydrating from all those tears. Let me make us some tea." Cologne hopped to it, literally. In a moment, the elder had an herb tea brewing with water kept constantly hot on one of the burners of the stove. "After we pay our respects to son-in-law, we'll have to take a vacation. With her ki at this low a level, natural surroundings would be best. Lets see. Would the beach or the mountains be better? Or perhaps a nice forest setting?"  
  
"Natural surroundings?" Shampoo had practically had to be dragged to the table.  
  
"Areas of natural beauty, that seem to refresh the soul that's open to such things, actually help recharge one's chi," Cologne absently said while going through travel brochures. "Have to set the VCR up to record my soap operas, hmmm. Not to mention that 'Skysaber - Rei Special' on Thursday."  
  
Shampoo's mind was clearly elsewhere, looking up the stairs towards her room.  
  
"Then there's the effect this has on your pursuit of son-in-law," Cologne muttered while examining a brochure for a resort in Okinawa.  
  
"Unnn," said Shampoo, sipping on her tea, her gaze still affixed on the top of the stairs.  
  
Cologne glanced up. "By the way, Mousse has dumped you and is now pursuing Kodachi Kuno."  
  
"Unnn," said Shampoo.  
  
"Oh, and due to a little known provision of Chinese Amazon Law, you're now engaged to marry our 10,000 customer. That would be that Daisuke fellow."  
  
"Unnn," agreed Shampoo.  
  
"Silly Shampoo sells seashells by the seashore."  
  
"Unnn."  
  
Cologne sighed. Clearly Shampoo's mind was elsewhere. Well, she'd just have to choose a place to go on their own. But first, she'd have to drop by the Tendo household and properly thank Ranma for the return of one of their Amazons. Hmmm. Maybe a special technique or something. Since the way Shampoo explained it, Ranma had paid in chi to return Shampoo's mother, a chi recharge technique or meditation technique would be useful.   
  
Hmmm. Maybe an invitation to go with them on this vacation? That *would* give Ranma some time with Shampoo, a chance for a recharge, and frankly some time sunning herself would do her own old bones some good.   
  
*THWACK!*  
  
"Ahhhh, Great grandmother, what for you do?" Shampoo rubbed the top of her head.  
  
"I've got to go thank Ranma, child. You stay indoors - it smells like rain." Cologne cocked her head to the side and regarded her great-granddaughter. "I'll just be a bit. Try to keep out of trouble and let your mother sleep. She has to rest and recharge. We'll discuss this more when I get back."  
  
------  
  
Gods do not need to eat in a normal sense.   
  
It's kind of an optional thing, like breathing and sleeping and other needs that no longer are mandatory once you become immortal (and for those who are curious, yes, divine restrooms are practically unheard of, being both unnecessary and one of those few functions that almost all   
divine beings can agree they'd rather do without) (The few around were mainly there for visiting mortals, and to give goddesses a place to "powder their noses" and the like.)  
  
True immortals CAN eat, but tend to do so only for special reasons, sometimes quaffing magical potions to serve some purpose or swigging malts for their flavor. In the case of ambrosia and nectar they are provided as the Universal Godly Recharge system for those divine beings who, for whatever reason, are suffering momentary power shortages.  
  
More convenient than most auxiliary recharge methods (and safer than some), plus a snack here or there can be just the thing to perk you up to fighting your second horde of demons.  
  
Needless to say, mortals partook of it at their peril. It was rather more significantly powerful than faerie food, yet slightly more predictable as well. It either blew you up in gory shards of volting flesh or gave you significant magical benefits (which may have been what the godling had in mind).  
  
Both Nodoka and her son were presently lying on the floor with bolts of magical lightning arcing across their forms, shivering in the aftershocks of their snacks. Sadly, few enough gods used chi that it did nothing to recharge Ranma's lack of it. But good luck was smiling in that neither of them had converted into more than one piece.  
  
Ranko came in, wearing a towel, and looked curiously over each of them, then stepped over Ranma's face to go into the kitchen to see what human food tasted like! (She could tell that stuff on the table wasn't normal).  
  
Ranma, already in shock over taking a bite of ambrosia, saw what you would expect to see if a girl wearing only a towel walked straight over you, froze in shock, had a final volt of electricity arc over his frame, and passed out.  
  
-----------  
  
Ranko looked over her boyfriend and his mother, her benefactors, with a practiced eye.  
  
::Magical energies detected. Discharging as electrical energy. Possibility of destabilization of tissues noted.::  
  
Ranko flipped through a dozen methods of dealing with the problems with computer-like efficiency. Then knelt nearby. She gently caressed Ranma's forehead, and reached out to place a hand on Nodoka's temple.  
  
::Analyzing waveform. Completed. Utilizing excess energy to stimulate healing. Warning: old damage detected in left frontal lobe of subject one (designate:Ranma). Stimulating neural net. Regrowth of affected areas occurring. Corpus Callosum also damaged. Correcting. Absorbing excess energies. Complete.::  
  
Ranko let out a deep breath, then a smile that would have dazzled almost anyone who had been present. She felt she *understood* Ranma now. She had gotten quite a burden of his memories while travelling through his psyche, but she couldn't go through them now. No doubt they'd be a valuable resource later.  
  
No, that wasn't the reason that Ranko was skipping happily over to the stove to check out this human food substance.  
  
"Never gonna be a weapons platform again," she sang softly to the birds outside the window.  
  
No, the important thing, to Ranko at least, was that she had just used her talents to HEAL instead of KILL. Much more satisfying.  
  
--------  
  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"  
  
"There, there, Kasumi." Nabiki soothed. Both she and Akane had instantly quieted once their older sister had lost her grip on control. Even Akane malletting herself was being topped by this.  
  
"But..." Kasumi was lost in tremblings and whimpers and sobs that had her two younger sisters hovering nearby, ashamed to think they had contributed to her overload. Her mother gently rocked her eldest and muttered soothing words in her hair.  
  
Kasumi sniffled and blew her nose, with help. Never once faltering in the steady yet gentle streams that poured down both cheeks. "But, Ranma was the only boy to be nice to me since I left high school. I knew I couldn't marry him... but..." Her nose got blown again.  
  
"BUT I WANTED TO! WAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" By now the handkerchief was quite wet and useless for anything, but she held onto it anyway. "And now I can't even DREAM of him choosing me and taking us far away!"  
  
"BWAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"  
  
A knocking at the door intruded, especially when the person at the door turned out to be...  
  
"Akane Tendo, my love, my heart!"  
  
*SLAM!*  
  
Kimiko raised her head. "Daughter, it is not polite to slam the door in people's faces like that."  
  
Akane winced and opened the door. Despite a quick but fervert prayer, Tatewaki Kuno was still there. He was *behind* someone else though, at this point.  
  
"Doctor Tofu? But you moved!" Akane blinked at the apparition before her. "Please come in!" *SLAM!*  
  
Tatewaki blinked at the door slammed in his face as he'd prepared to follow the Doctor. Ah, clearly Akane had been crying and was now embarassed to let him see her until she had made herself presentable. How like a woman. Yet this vacation would prove an opportunity for her to show her true love for him now that the Sorcerer Saotome was gone! Though now he was indebted to that same Sorcerer Saotome! ~Arrggh! I needs focus on something more pleasant whilst I give myself time to think this through.~  
  
While Kuno went off on a delusional fantasy involving Akane Tendo, grass huts, and barbeque sauce, Doctor Tofu examined Mrs Tendo and repeated what he'd told the Kunos about natural surroundings. "It would be best if you accompanied them to Hawaii, it would aid your mother's recovery greatly." The Doctor blinked and looked around. "Is it true that Ranma's dead, turned into a puddle of water and drained away?"  
  
"Bwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!" Nabiki, Genma, and Akane began wailing.  
  
Doctor Tofu began moving to comfort the nearest (Akane) who briefly clung to him, motivated by the knowledge that his professionalism had screwed up. It hardly seemed possible, however, as Ranma had always seemed nearly indestructible and somehow melting into a puddle just didn't strike the doctor as likely.  
  
Kasumi returned from the bathroom as Akane clung to Doctor Tofu. "Oh my! Doctor Tofu!"  
  
"Gerk!" Doctor Tofu stiffened abruptly. "Ka-ka-ka-Kasumi?!"  
  
Akane went from tearful to horrified as she realized in one thoroughly awful moment what was about to happen.  
  
*BEND!* *FOLD!* *SPINDLE!* *MUTILATE!*  
  
"Oh my," said Kasumi, Kimiko, Nabiki, Soun, and Genma. The chorus was eerie.  
  
------------  
  
Cologne decided not to enter. She didn't think it likely that son-in-law was currently so much water vapor, but clearly the Tendos and Kunos thought so. And it appeared they had their own vacation plans.  
  
Fine, by her estimation. She'd just go invite that okonomiyaki chef and her mother. With Miao Yin's stubborness, she'd try to keep up with healthy persons. With Kuonji's mother along, she'd only try to compete with another invalid. Also this would place Ukyo in *her* debt, and that could always come in handy.   
  
And she could always use the time of this vacation to do a little research and figure out what really had happened to son-in-law. Not to mention what restoring a tribe member meant as far as the laws (it wasn't something likely to come up that often, after all.)  
  
Yes, well, she left the village to support her great-granddaughter and because she could use a little variety in her life. Land's sakes, this could top what Liao Bing had gone through back in the seventies!  
  
----------  
  
Oh well. In the next chapter:  
Hawaii you doing, Akane?  
Tatewaki goes soul-searching?  
Bullwinkle and Rocky discover Boris and Natasha retired and living in Wahiawa?  
Ranko discovers clothes!  
Ukyo and Cologne chat?  
Ranma discovers that he likes being doted on?  
All this and more! Same Ranma-time, same Ranma-channel!  
  
==================  



	4. Chapter 4

When You Wish Upon A Sword, Chapter 4  
  
a round robin fic by Skysaber & Gregg Sharp  
  
--------  
  
A beach in Okinawa:  
  
There were times when being a 300 year old Elder, the Matriarch of a hidden village of Chinese Amazons, the singular authority of the village, was boring.  
  
Not since coming to Nerima, though, at least not very often.  
  
Cologne had, and would admit it privately or to someone she considered a social equal, bungled it *badly* when she'd come to Nerima. Then she'd backed off to observe the dynamics, had shaken her head at the whole thing, and had slipped quietly from "enforcer of Amazon Law" mode to "wise Elder" mode. She wondered if Ranma had even noticed. Good kid. Just as mentally agile as a brick and it'd likely take three bottles of Formula 110 to undo some of the grief his father had caused the child's psyche.  
  
There were times that Cologne wished the Nanban Mirror was still working. *Poof!* She'd have gone back to the day that a panda and a girl had visited the village, intervened, and Shampoo would have gone off with her husband and a panda to see the world. Heck, she'd have great-great-grandkids by now, if she hadn't decided not to attend the Tournament Of Arms. All because of a little misunderstanding by Shampoo.  
  
IF the Jusenkyo Guide had remembered to keep an eye on his customers. IF the Jusenkyo Guide had remembered that the Kiss Of Death required only that the victim fight again, more formally, then be inducted into the tribe (thereby ending the Outsider's life as an Outsider, beginning their life as an Amazon) before the party was declared on. IF Shampoo hadn't gotten a feather up her butt, figuratively, from pride and outrage. IF Sash or one of the other Japanese speakers had been present.   
  
IF.  
  
Well, at least it wasn't boring. And certainly Ranma was (had been) a better fighter than that fellow Liao Bing had ended up with. Though perhaps not as useful in noncombat situations.  
  
"Shampoo! I LOVE YOU, SHAMPOO! Let's run away together!"  
  
"I'm UKYO, you JACKASS!" *WHANG!*  
  
"Well, that explains why the breasts were so small. Excuse me."  
  
*WHANG! WHANG! WHANG!*  
  
"Better Spatula Girl than me!"  
  
Cologne let the warm sun soak into her old and tired bones. The gentle sound of the surf, the smell of the ocean on a cooling breeze, ah - revitalizing. "How are you two holding up?"  
  
Shampoo's mother grumbled something about feeling underdressed without some sort of weapon.  
  
Ukyo's mother snored. Which pretty much answered that question.  
  
"Good, good." Cologne could feel the ki resonating, being drawn up into the mothers' chi. Slowly, but faster wasn't always better.  
  
"URK!?"  
  
Cologne opened her eyes, quickly spotting where Mousse had put his glasses back on and had been about to try to glomp *her*. Only to notice Cologne's current one-piece bathing suit. Paraphrasing a green muppet she'd identified somewhat with, Cologne addressed the nauseated Mousse, "when three hundred years old you are, this good looking you will not be."  
  
"That doesn't make it any less QUACK!"  
  
Cologne nodded to herself. The waterproof soap would only last so long, after all.  
  
Where had she been? Oh yes. The surf, the sun, the smell of coconut scented tanning lotion, the squawk of Ukyo catching up and flattening a duck beneath her spatula and threatening to make a duck okonomiyaki if he grabbed her THERE again. Yes, this wasn't bad at all.  
  
--------  
  
A beach on the main island, Hawaii:  
  
"GIVE ME BACK MY BRA, YOU PERVERT!!!"  
  
A disgusting little lecher bounced along the beach wearing a woman's bathing top over his eyes and using an impossibly long tongue to lick it as he ran. "Wehehehehe!! Akane! How did you know that was my favorite flavor of suntan lotion?"  
  
The youngest Tendo was trying to run with one arm clasped over her breasts. Happosai reversed course and passed her like a missle. She tried a swing at him, but bungled it because she was hampered by the arm clasped awkwardly to her chest being the only one situated to swing at the angle he used.  
  
Happosai was good at choosing angles like that.   
  
"Come *back* here!" She shouted, racing off after him. The girl had run through almost the length of the crowded beach before she met Happosai seated under her family's beach umbrella, calmly waiting for her.  
  
Happosai removed his pipe and blew a puff of smoke. Not even wincing as she rushed at him, he spoke. "Akane, you know how much I appreciate this display of affection. But you don't have to give all these other people a free show on my account."  
  
Akane's eyes bugged out to take up ninty percent of her face the moment she recognized the bikini *bottom* he was fondling in his lap was the one she'd put on that morning. And that HAD to have been lost on his last lunge past her, before most of that long chase.  
  
The ENTIRE beach was staring at her.  
  
Akane clasped herself and burned so red she sank into the sand to hide completely from view, disappearing till only her hair could be seen.  
  
"Hotcha! Now the *next* little one in line to comfort an old man for losing his heir and grandson!" Happosai leaped to reach glomp status on Nabiki's bikini top, only to pull several times without moving it.  
  
She looked at him drolly, with sly amusement creeping in. "Well, now I *am* going to have to thank Kodachi. I thought of gluing on my swimsuit this morning myself, but it was *she* that suggested the contact poison on the outside. She didn't even charge me for the chemical-resistant material."  
  
Happosai turned sickly purple and fell off.  
  
Genma and Soun materialized to instantly pack the old master in a crate after tying him in chains. They were about to nail it shut when Kodachi's voice could be heard ringing out in laughter. "Ohohohohoho!! Wait one moment, my esteemed and honored sirs. I have something I want to add to that package before you mail it off. Sasuke!"  
  
The little ninja waddled up to his bikini-clad mistress, laden under the weight of a giant clothes hamper. The lines of used-clothes reek could be SEEN wafting off of the laundry within. Kodachi clapped her hands and a force of large, burly men stuffed the crate full of the largest and smelliest collection of men's underwear that money could buy on an island of resort sports and plentiful athletes.  
  
As the final pair of smelly boxer shorts was stuffed up Happosai's nostrils, Kodachi signed a sales receipt and the crate was nailed shut, disappearing off in the back of an express delivery truck almost immediately as the doors closed.  
  
Kodachi smiled fondly at the now-fading plume of dust. "It was a strategy pioneered by my Ranma-sama. He merely lacked the resources to put it into full effect."  
  
Soun was gaping, nor was he alone, but it was the Tendo patriarch that spoke. "But... but, we were going to mail him Afganistan..."  
  
Kodachi was still smiling softly, gazing in the direction of the vanished van. "And how long would it take him to get free and return? No, good sir, this was better, I assure you."  
  
Genma was still gaping like an idiot, which was appropriate in his case. Soun spoke in his friend's place. "But... where did you send him?"  
  
Kodachi turned away, pausing to bend to pick up a beach ball and flick her long hair out of her face. "Good sir, it appears the man who torments your family has chosen to sign a four-year contract as a male prostitute in a gay bar in Thailand. Seeing as how unattractive he is they would only take him on an extreme bondage clause, in an area where unwholesome disease is almost total."  
  
She ran off to play in the racing surf.  
  
Nabiki was already off to change into less dangerous swimwear, and Tatewaki had produced a shovel and was now digging out Akane with promises of taking her off to provide his manly aid in helping her overcome this horrible and dreadful embarrassment.  
  
Sasuke stood by with a set of private hotel room keys handy.  
  
Genma and Soun were dancing around like happy schoolboys, chanting together. "This might kill the Master!"  
  
Kimiko Tendo lolled her head to look aside to where both Kuno parents were at ease together. "You brought your children up so?"  
  
Kodachi's mother smiled. "It was your husband that engaged the monster as a teacher. Mine were the ones to resolve, not start, the problem."  
  
"True," Kimiko watched the Kuno's boy doting on her exhibitionist daughter. "You know I believe that your Tatewaki finds my youngest attractive. She could use someone to get over her former fiance, Ranma."  
  
"I believe you are correct," agreed Mrs Kuno. "I shall have the papers drawn up. Shall we say in three months?"  
  
"Yes. A wedding would be just the thing to celebrate life and help Akane recover from her loss. Three months to finish mourning, and then on to the happy couple." Kimiko smiled at the way Akane yelled at Kuno and threatened to hit him. Except that she'd discovered upon winding back for the punch, that she'd uncovered herself again. Yes, it must be love.  
  
"Would someone get me some clothes?!" Akane wailed, not realizing what was going on only a few yards away.  
  
If she had, she might have tried to swim back to Japan. Poor swimming skills notwithstanding.  
  
---------  
  
Several thousand miles away:  
  
Lacking the resources of the rich, like the Kuno family, or the connections of a Chinese Matriarch, more ordinary people on a more ordinary budget made do with other methods of getting around and going on vacation.  
  
"A hot spring resort next to a beach?" Ranma asked, back to female form. Mainly because being carried by a twin sister was *far* less embarassing than it would have been were he male at the time.  
  
"Not bad, Mother," chirped Ranko happily. "I'm reading plenty of positive ki. There's a festival of the kami of rice wine going on, and that may contribute some."  
  
Nodoka nodded, adjusting her kimono slightly. "I did some work here a little while ago. There was a... problem... in the shrine."  
  
Naturally, Ranma tried to put this in terms of her experience. "Oh? Crazed martial artists?"  
  
"No. Just some kuei. Though they had some backup from a 3000 year dead oni lich." Nodoka shrugged as if to say it was of no consequence.  
  
"Oh." Ranma spent a moment staring at a mother that couldn't believe initially in a Jusenkyo curse, but took an infestation of flesh-eating ghosts led by an undead demon as "just another day at the office." It certainly didn't sound boring.  
  
Of course, it *had* been tricky, but Nodoka didn't want to worry her son-turned-daughter. Quality time needed to be scheduled, after all. There were other reasons for selecting this particular location.  
  
First, it was cheap. The owner knew her and owed her one. When on an often tight budget, this sort of consideration was quite important.  
  
Second, this was an exclusive sort of place. The only people who frequented it fell quickly into two groups. Very Important People and their families were among the first group, which meant that their security had to be assured. Which led to the second group. Security personnel and other people who were very very good at making sure that other people survived.   
  
Third, which related to the first consideration, was that one could reach this remote location with a simple set of two train connections, a six hour bus ride, and a three hour hike. Unless you had a car or similar transportation, which conceivably could cut the whole thing down to nine hours of travel. Which was one reason that the Kunos and even Cologne were already on their respective beaches by the time that the Saotome party finally arrived at the ryokan (traditional style Japanese hotel). The other being that Ranko had made frequent stops to ask what THAT was or what THOSE were or what did THIS taste like or WHY people would stare just because she'd imbedded some guy in the ceiling of the train who had groped the weakened Ranma-chan.  
  
Nodding her head at a fellow "archaeologist" as she entered the lobby, Nodoka quickly made her way to the front desk as she asked for the owner by name.  
  
When he arrived, he was apologetic, but there was only one room available. They'd set up a privacy screen, but all three would have to share that room.  
  
Which actually didn't bother the three, as each had their reasons for not wanting to be seperated at this point.  
  
When they finally got to the room, after Ranko had been flitting this way and that looking at things and finally had to be pried out of a utility closet because she wanted to know where all the pipes went, the exhausted bellhop let them in and vanished wearing a smile but refusing a tip.  
  
"Oooooohh!" Ranko had put Ranma down and was hanging by the windowframe, looking out over the springs with googly eyes.  
  
"Ain't ya never been in a resort before?" Ranma asked, ignoring that the closest she herself had ever been to one was sneaking in at night stealing food.  
  
That caused Ranko to drop from the windowsill. "Sure! There were the great fire sculptures of wonder in the northlands, and the crystal caves of the eastern escarpment that sang when you made any noise inside them, then the water palace... Oh! It was beautiful!"  
  
Ranma couldn't make up her mind whether her twin sister was happy or so sad she was about to cry. But it was Nodoka, preoccupied with their luggage, that popped the question. "That's nice dear, what did you do there?"  
  
Ranko's face collapsed in tears, and her fists flew to her eyes, bawling. "I BLEW THEM UP!!!" She sobbed, heart wrenching as she threw herself into Ranma's surprised embrace. Ranko went on. "There was a war raging, and they sent me out to destroy them as targets! They NEVER let any of us out unless there was a war on because they were so afraid of us, of what we could do. So I NEVER got to see anything that I wasn't about to destroy!"  
  
The weapon platform turned girl descended into incoherant sobs, clutching Ranma-chan like she was her only link on life.  
  
Soon the sobbing resolved into more words, spoken into Ranma-chan's soft chest by a bitterly trembling Ranko. "Those people weren't hurting anything. They just wanted to play and have fun in areas where everything was built to be as beautiful as it could. Some of them had element lamps and fought me, but I'd already grown too good. They made us that way. Now all those people are burned to ashes. Burned by me... And I never even knew the reason why. They never told me. They only gave me orders. They never said why I had to kill all those millions of people..."  
  
Ranma was just about on the edge of freaking out, but with the weight of Ranko on her chest wasn't able to go anywhere. The phrase 'millions of people' stuck out like neon, along with 'burned to ashes', and had the disconcerting effect of shutting Ranma's mind down.  
  
Nodoka's jaw had closed with a snap.  
  
Apparently her godly son had been correct about Ranko having some problems.  
  
Ranma-chan was, oddly, the first to recover some sensebilities. Maybe it had something to do with being nearly paralyzed, but it made you focus on your wits more when your body didn't have any effort to spare (it was that or the creeping nightmare of a thought that maybe that bit with the Demon of Stupidity looking *exactly* like her dad had more than a symbolic reality. Brrr!). In any case, she clasped Ranko closer to her and said, tenderly (having learned by observation a few quick lessons from her mother) cocking her head to the side. "Couldn't you have said no?"  
  
Ranko's head shook, still buried in her sister's bosom. "No. We couldn't even try. They built us to look human, but we weren't. We were just weapon platforms. They could tell us to do whatever they wanted, and... sob... we'd do it. You could grow extra arms more easily than we could ever disobey those who gave our commands."  
  
The girl was back to trembling full force now.  
  
In a rare moment of insight, Ranma merely enfolded the other girl in her arms, holding her close. It was either by accident or design that she managed to say exactly the right thing. "You don't, you know. You don't gotta do what anyone says to ya ever again, an I'll beat up the first   
bastard that tries givin ya orders."  
  
The thought of a weakened Ranma trying to beat up *anyone* gave Ranko a fit of giggles.  
  
Nodoka smiled, the catastrophe seemed to be averted. Oh dear, children were more a handful than the last horde of barbarian berserkers she'd encounted. A spark came to her eye. And a greater treasure than any gold idol she'd ever recovered.  
  
She snapped shut their luggage. "Ranma, Ranko, you two can hold each other while I go get lunch. Your elder brother said that physical contact was what you needed, and I think he really meant both of you."  
  
Ranma blinked up at her mother with an identical face alongside doing exactly the same thing in sequence, half a heartbeat behind. "Sure mom, but ain't we gunna go swimming?"  
  
Nodoka smiled, taking her bundle with her. "Certainly dear. But first we have to purchase swimsuits for each of you. I won't be responsible if nasty hentai Nazis come to abduct you young girls if we don't pick something modest, either."  
  
"Nazis?" Ranma blinked, then pouted. She'd seen enough adventure movies on the side to know what a nazi was. "Ah, mom! There ain't been any nazis since the last world war!"   
  
Nodoka laughed. It was a pretty thing, able to round out demons lurking in dark corners of the soul and banish them. Then she covered her mouth and looked in at the girls. "No dear, that's what the victors in that war agreed to say. The Nazis were never defeated, they just moved south. My heavens, I've been chased all over Africa by them, and they control most of South America and Antarctica as well. That's even if you ignore the rumors about their moon base. But we can all talk shop later. I don't have to teach you the family business all in one day. There's enough time for that after you both recover."  
  
Nodoka, still gladly beaming, bent low at the waist to speak to her daughters. "Now, do you young girls have appetites for anything in particular, or should I just back a truck full of raw fish up to our door and let you both eat sushi till you burst? Hmm?"  
  
When both girls began drooling Nodoka had to laugh again.  
  
-----------  
  
Back in Hawaii:  
  
Ignoring for the moment her brother's joy, Akane shrieking, Sasuke calling caterers and other wedding planners, and the ubiquitous "oh my" from the eldest of the Tendo daughters, Kodachi Kuno wondered at the sea change within herself.  
  
She harbored no ill feelings for the redhaired wench. Well, perhaps still a bit. Part of it was always the odd attraction she'd felt for the girl. Which was unseemly to say the least, so she reacted strongly in the opposite manner - hating her all the more for it.  
  
Strange how a mere 48 hours can change everything.  
  
Her mother had commented that Kodachi's usual laugh had sounded like some demented noblewoman from a samurai drama. One who was typically the evil insane witch manipulating events from behind the scenes. Therefore, her mother had gently suggested she refrain.  
  
Kodachi had listened. Tone down the laugh. Check. She *certainly* did not want to stress her mother. Besides, the words had been one thing. The severe disappointment crossing her mother's gaze had been infinitely more painful.  
  
The Black Rose Of Saint Hebereke had died on the plane trip over. What would her mother approve of out of her current lifestyle? Her gymnastics skills, certainly. Somehow she had drifted away from the little girl that had been encouraged to show "grace, poise, and beauty" upon the balance beam.   
  
Kodachi had come to the painful conclusion that she had lost herself. Her mother had returned, and suddenly she could see in that one disappointed gaze the reflection of herself. Not Kodachi Kuno, graceful gymnast and heir to a wealthy samurai family. No, what had been shown was the Black Rose. The drug-user, the cheat, the friendless girl who had caused her beloved Ranma to choose death before choosing her.  
  
She had, prior to the trip, approached the mercenary Nabiki Tendo. She had never done so before, because she felt it was beneath her to turn to such a Yakuza reject. After her mother's comments, her mind a jumble, she'd wanted more information and had known that the Tendo girl would want extra money for playing tourist. Why had Ranma never returned her affections?  
  
Nabiki had told her exactly what she had observed about Ranma's reactions and opinions regarding Kodachi. Nabiki had seemed oddly reluctant, struggling with some inner demon of her own, but had answered at length. Only one final thing did she refuse to speak of, the relationship between the pigtailed girl her brother obsessed with and Ranma. Stating only that it was something that would have to wait, if Kodachi would even believe it then.  
  
So, bit by bit, over the fourteen hours of flight, the Black Rose had been stripped away. Not only did her mother disapprove of her, but her beloved Ranma had been scared off by her presence. And in death he had paid her a gift beyond anything that she could repay.  
  
"Ranma-sama," murmurred Kodachi, losing interest in the surf and sun and play. There was a brief resurgence of the Black Rose, desiring to blame her rival Akane, to whip out her ribbon and tie the wench up - then pull her behind the boat while looking for sharks.  
  
For a moment the conflict raged, but the memory of that disappointed look from her mother strengthened Kodachi's resolve.  
  
Wiping a tear away, Kodachi headed for the changing booths. Somehow she was not in the mood for frolicking in the sands. Instead she would see what she could do to ensure her brother's happiness. At least he need not suffer as she was. And someone had to ensure that her mother could see grandchildren.   
  
For her, without Ranma, Kodachi doubted anyone would ever occupy that place in her heart again.   
  
Kodachi felt halted when somebody took her hand. Looking back she saw the eldest Tendo girl smiling sweetly. The girl cocked her head slightly to one side, indicating the direction of a grassy hill overlooking the sea.  
  
"Kuno-san, do you have to leave this quickly? We appreciate all you've done for us, and I feel amiss that you don't seem to be enjoying yourself here too."  
  
Something within Kodachi deflated, and she looked downward. Kasumi was still holding her hand, restraining her ever so gently from going away. "Please, Tendo-san, I am not feeling well. I was going to adjurn to my apartment to rest."  
  
Kasumi was very respectful as she declined the unspoken request to let the younger girl go. Though the Kuno mansion on Hawaii was even more spectacular than their one in Japan, and her father was talking about getting one like it! Though the way he lost money on the simplest things it would stay a pipe dream only.  
  
Kasumi gave the younger girl a short bow, then began to drag her over to the grassy dune. "I understand, Kuno-san. But the doctor's prescription for our mothers surely applies to us as well? If you're not feeling well perhaps we can sit on the grass together." The Tendo girl seemed to hesitate for a long thought before she finally said. "I haven't any other friends to talk to."  
  
Kodachi followed willingly. It was a sentiment that she could share.  
  
When they were seated together on the grass, Kasumi drew up her knees close to her chest, smoothing out the skirt she had drawn on over the lower half of her swimsuit, before leaning into the support they gave and speaking honestly. "You're feeling badly about Ranma, aren't you?"  
  
Kodachi was unsure whether to confirm or deny that, but in the end Kasumi gave her no choice, saying. "I do too."  
  
That brought Kodachi's eyes toward the elder girl, and Kasumi went on, whispering with her face only inches above her knees. "When he came to our house to be engaged to one of us, as the eldest it was my responsibility to take him. But I panicked. He seemed so young, and well,   
so... rough, uncultured..." Kasumi's eyes closed of their own volition. "I guess I had been reading too many romance books. The handsome hero was always dashing and very poetic, and... all the things that Ranma wasn't, at least so it seemed at first. So Nabiki and I both abdicated our higher claims on Ranma, which left him with our youngest sister by default, as she didn't have anyone to refuse him onto."  
  
Tears now scored the eldest Tendo's face, and she directed her gaze toward Kodachi. "I have never regretted more any choice I've made before or since. In one foolish instant I lost my claim on the best man ever to enter my life. A foolish man, a prideful man, one without a gentle   
upbringing or all of the polish that a life of romance novels leads a girl to demand." Kasumi's eyes both closed in inner pain, as she said. "But romance novels aren't right about anything." She drew in a long, gasping breath. "Because what Ranma *was* far outweighed all the things   
he wasn't. You knew at once, upon first meeting him, what it took me months to discover living in the same home with him. How brave he was, and how gentle, how deeply he cared and his willingness to sacrifice for others..." Kasumi was crying again, more deeply lost in hurt as she   
sobbed out the admission. "You have no idea how much I envied you, how I envied *all* those girls that actually had a chance at Ranma! I could've been the one. It could've been me. None of my sisters could have taken him if I'd said from the start that I wanted him. But I was blind. Of all the girls around him, I think it took me the longest to realize how rare and important that he was. I know Ukyo and Shampoo both fought with him before they came to love him, but they came around to say it in time. I never had the strength to tell him that I loved him."  
  
Kasumi broke down in open tears at this point. Kodachi was feeling recovered, distracted from her own grief by the deeper one in this young woman. She was about to reach out a hand to comfort when Kasumi broke her gasps and went on. "You have no idea how much I envied you, to be able to see, right from the first moment, who he was and what he could mean to you. Then to go after him when you'd had none of the advantages of my family or those girls who'd known him for longer..." Kasumi came very close to collapsing on the grass.  
  
Kodachi gave the older girl a hug.  
  
A wave crashed high up the beach, causing squeals of distant laughter as tourists like themselves played in the water.  
  
Kodachi spoke softly in the other girl's ear. "Every moment that you spent with him, every second in his presence, all of the meals and time you had under that same roof together caring for him, I would trade everything I had to share them. It is I who should envy you."  
  
That seemed to quiet Kasumi somewhat.  
  
Kodachi murmured on further. "Whatever failure you have met, I own its equal." She did not elaborate, but the elder girl seemed to sense the truth in this and her sobs relented further even as pity warred with envy in her breast. She'd known how Ranma feared this girl.  
  
Kodachi seemed to sense that, too, and went on to say. "Please, be at peace, and comforted. If Ranma-sama were to meet you at the gates as you end this life, he would do so gladly. For my own sake, not heaven's command would drive him willingly to greet me."  
  
The Tendo's tears cut off, there was need for reprisal to that comment, and she lifted herself somewhat out of the other's gentle hug of sisterly support - something Kasumi didn't think either of her own real sisters could handle giving to her right now, especially not on this subject. She sat up and wiped at her tears. "That's not true, Kodachi. You know Ranma better than that. He was only afraid because he didn't know how to deal with you. He was so ignorant of all our ways. He needed someone to show him what he didn't know." Kasumi choked out a sigh. "It was not my place to tell him, but you could've. If you went more slowly and taught him how he should act I'm sure there's no other person on this world that he'd rather spend time with."  
  
"Not even... the pigtailed girl?" Kodachi ventured, touching so lightly the source of her present deepest pain.  
  
Kasumi considered long her response before she answered. "There were times when he hated her, times when he tried to be rid of her, and yet... I'm not sure how to say this. But when they got along together he was so happy to be with her. She never threatened him. Well, almost never, only when Happosai made her do it, and then she was just trying to take him with her forever - which is something I might've done if I had the chance."  
  
Kodachi nodded, thinking any sensible girl would've. Kasumi continued. "I guess that it was that happiness that I envied about her - yes, I'd envied her too. You see they were thrown together only months before I met them when they first came to our house, and all he wanted was to be   
rid of her, to make her go away. I think that she frightened him back then." There came another long pause, before Kasumi concluded. "But she never once tried to be rid of him. She never, ever rejected him. She was always there for him, even when he didn't want her to be, and I think   
somewhere in there they learned to get along with each other. Wherever they are now, I'm sure that they're together."  
  
Kodachi nodded, satisfied. It did something that words cannot express to know that even the pigtailed girl had had her troubles with Ranma-sama at first. It was a healing balm whose warmth was without price to have heard that this girl who had shared his life, his clothes, and his bed (to quote a rival who'd once felt vindictive) had frightened him once.  
  
That meant there was hope for her.  
  
The pair stayed looking out at the sea in silence for the longest time.  
  
---------  
  
"Bwee?" P-chan yawned sleepily, wondering where the heck he was now.  
  
One of the problems with ocean travel with a Jusenkyo curse was, of course, that one would spend most of one's time in that cursed form. If you added to that the problem of being directionally challenged to the extent that all members of the Hibiki family were, ocean travel became even more a problem.  
  
Still, as long as nobody found you and tried to take you to the kitchen for a quick snack, a little piglet was easier to stow away as. Coloration and size made it good for stealth purposes.  
  
Of course, as frequently happened, a piece of Akane's luggage was lost somewhere in the trip to Hawaii. Was it at all a surprise to anyone that this single carrybag had been Ryoga's chosen disguise? Would it strike anyone as being completely out of question that while Akane and the others were on the main island of Hawaii, one piece of her luggage was currently located in Oahu?  
  
Of course, if Ryoga had known that there was a luau planned, or what the main course was, he'd have fled so quickly all anyone could see was a black streak.  
  
As it was, he just wandered the hotel until he got to an area where he could look out over the ocean.  
  
Ryoga had some thinking to do. He'd come to terms, more or less, with Ranma. Hearing the Tendo girls (all of them?) wailing about Ranma's death had forced him into introspective mode. Frequently depressed people did that regularly, but because of their diagnosis it was normal for the more negative side of things to snowball.  
  
Ranma had *died* and in a noble and heroic manner. Self-sacrificing himself for others to benefit, turning himself into a puddle of water but also going out in a blaze of glory.  
  
The perpetually lost pig looked out at the waves, seeing a brief image of Ranma with halo and wings ascending to the heavens.  
  
Ryoga sighed. It had been so much easier to just hate Ranma and blame him for everything. Now there was no Ranma. He had died a hero, and had left Akane to someone who could better appreciate her. Ryoga.  
  
(Ranma. I promise I'll take good care of Akane. Your sacrifice for her happiness shall not be in vain.) Of course this actually came out as "bwee bwee bwee bwee BWEE bwee" but that wasn't registering in Ryoga's mind. Though he'd have to find Akane now.   
  
Ryoga really hated ocean travel.  
  
---------  
  
Shampoo was normally as perky and cheerful as could be. It was as natural a state for her as breathing. At least on the outside.  
  
Shampoo had finally found a moment to get away from the crowds and go off and have a good cry.  
  
Despite the joy of being reunited with her mother, something had occurred to diminish that happiness to a guttering tiny flame. Her Airen had been slain.  
  
How could mere words, even in her native Chinese, convey the depth of emotions she'd kept bottled up? Her happiness at being reunited with a mother she hadn't seen since she was four had led her to leave her weakened Airen behind in the mercies of the Tendo household. Her guilt at her oversight, knowing full well the horrors that Akane Tendo was capable of inflicting out of some misguided desire to prove she could be feminine or masculine or both. Her horror on hearing her Great Grandmother relate that the Tendos thought Ranma had melted into a puddle without his lifeforce.  
  
Great Grandmother had suggested that she had a problem with this idea, but wasn't able to do anything about it yet. If ever, added Shampoo. Bringing back people from decade old graves wasn't exactly covered in Amazon Lore 101 (which she'd mainly slept through anyway, but she was sure she'd have remembered it if the subject had been mentioned).  
  
Mousse was buried in the sand, Spatula Girl wasn't around, Cologne was sunbathing with the two mothers. There was a small stand of rocks over there, where someone could sit and pout and have a decent crying spell without anyone thinking her less a warrior for it. Perfect.   
  
It was HER party and she'd cry if she wanted to!  
  
A muffled sob let her know where Spatula Girl was.  
  
Shampoo peeked over one rock to spy on her rival. Former rival, Shampoo corrected herself with a wince. Ukyo was a picture of dejection, hugging her knees and quite obviously trying to be silent. Failing pretty badly too.  
  
The Amazon was ready to turn away when Ukyo's voice reached her. It was hard to understand, but it involved Ranma's name.  
  
Shampoo wasn't sure why, but she closed the distance, knelt next to the broken chef, and put her hand on the girl's shoulder.  
  
After a moment where two tearful gazes met, the two grabbed each other in a deep crying hug. Bawling their eyes out, but nobody would know. They had been bitter rivals, and each recognized wordlessly that it was that very bond which allowed them to realize what the other was going through.  
  
Guilt. Guilt at having abandoned their love in a moment when they had seemed to be needed elsewhere. Guilt for the happiness of being reunited with their mothers when it had come at such an awful cost.  
  
Hatred. Directed at that demon and that damn sword for taking Ranma away from them.  
  
Sorrow. Heart-wrenching, hole-in-the-soul, aching sorrow at the loss of someone who had meant so much to them.  
  
Cologne watched the two from a peak of the rock, then turned away as the two went through their anguish with a side order of angst. The kids would be fine, and in her experience Cologne could actually see the two becoming fast friends as a result.  
  
Maybe she ought to see about making the Kuonji girl an honorary Amazon. It would simplify things.  
  
------------  
  
Nodoka couldn't resist getting a few pictures. It was a Kodak moment, even if she was using Fuji film on a Nikon camera.  
  
On the bed were twin girls, wearing similar red Chinese shirts with black pants, their hair in identical pigtails, matching bracers on their forearms. They were also currently asleep and cuddled together.  
  
It had taken quite a bit of time to get everything ready. One distraction had led to another. And it *had* been a long walk to get here.   
  
The owner of the ryokan owed Nodoka in no small manner. There had been four of them in that little matter with the kuei and oni five years ago. Nodoka had been the warrior, a fresh Akuryo Taisan enscribed on her katana, as she had sent the flesh eating ghosts towards an ambush.  
  
It had been the battle with the oni lich that had been the tricky part. Not that she'd mention it to Ranma. Poor thing had enough to worry about.  
  
But the two of them, curled up like that, looking completely innocent and just so darn cute, brought Nodoka to the understanding that her manly son (though looking rather feminine at the moment) was now with the perfect girl for him. That kami that had taken the disguise of a popular television show fictional character had mentioned something about the two being engaged by the rules of Heaven.   
  
Well, she would just have to make sure that the laws of Japan covered this as well. As Head of Clan for the family Saotome, this was easy regarding Ranma. Ranko was another matter, as she had no legal standing at all. Or did she?  
  
---------  
  
Celeste was cleaning it all up again. Though, as usual, she was doing four other things at the same time.  
  
The appropriate records had been easily accessed and modified.  
  
Nodoka Saotome, originally Nodoka Takahashi, had made a schoolgirl pledge with one of her friends - a Momoko Sanguichi. Unite the families of two close friends who had once been bitter rivals. Not that uncommon, and usually forgotten about as the two got older. Momoko had died in in a car accident in 1986 with her husband, the two having no children.  
  
Simple, really. Celeste could almost do this in her sleep.   
  
Momoko now had a daughter - now listed as surviving the wreck. The name: Ranko. School records were altered. Grades were neither very good nor very bad, she was in the background and never managed to do anything remarkable at all.  
  
More typing, more changes. Ranko had recently been reunited with an old friend of her mother's: Nodoka Takahashi now Saotome. The engagement of Ranko Sanguichi - from a centuries old line of devilhunters and psychics to Nodoka's own line, a matter of record dating back to 1971, renewed in 1989.  
  
Databases were updated to show the new stories. Now, if anyone tried to run a background check (such as a news agency or the like) they would uncover all these newly crafted details showing all the signs of having been in place for quite some time.  
  
Fix the past and the present would fall into place, as Urd would say.  
  
-------  
  
Tsubasa had snuck into the Ucchan's having used a coathanger to open a window.  
  
He hadn't seen his darling Ukyo recently, but then he didn't get into this section of Tokyo very often. It had looked as if the okonomiyaki chef of his obsession had just locked up for a while, but the note on the door said they'd be gone for three days. Which was *perfect* for Tsubasa.  
  
Upon seeing the note, he had come up with the Foolproof Perfect Plan to win Ukyo's heart. This would work! Nothing could go wrong!  
  
Which is why he had redecorated most of the shop on the first day. He had done so in typical Tsubasa fashion, which would be horribly bizarre to almost anyone else, but the tasteless transvestite was convinced that love was colorblind at least.  
  
Yes, Tsubasa's foolproof plan was to be running the Ucchan's when his beloved Ukyo returned - proving that he was the perfect guy-dressed-as-a-gaudily-dressed-girl for her!   
  
(NOTE: He was not, of course, merely a transvestite, but enjoyed wearing truly bizarre costumes as well. This was the anime Tsubasa, after all.)  
  
Tsubasa had an image of himself flirting with many sweet young things as they entered the shop, of being greeted by Ukyo, of a darling little wedding with lots of pink and lace...  
  
It was somewhere during that fantasy of the second day that he'd managed to lock himself in the freezer.  
  
After having redecorated the Ucchan's with lots of pink and lace, lava lamps and bric-a-brac, ferns and a large neon multi-colored chicken wall mural, cat clocks with the moving eyes and a jukebox that contained Austrian polkas and Scottish bagpipe music. Tsubasa was quite eclectic in his tastes.  
  
Which was not why Tsubasa was panicked about being stuck in the small walk-in freezer of the Ucchan's. After all, Ukyo would see this and immediately realize that Tsubasa was perfect for her - or at least that was Tsubasa's plan.  
  
Nor was Tsubasa desperate for escape because he was currently wearing clothing that would cause a television viewer to scramble for their controls to adjust the color. The clothing was warm enough as well, as looking like Peter Max's dayglo interpretation of Pippi Longstocking included a bodystocking that helped retain warmth as long as he kept moving.  
  
Tsubasa pounded on the door. "Somebody help! I need to use the little girl's room!"  
  
No, Tsubasa Kurenai had other emergencies to deal with.  
  
----------  
  
Ranko cried.  
  
She wasn't alone. She didn't have to kill. She wasn't immobile, locked into a damaged form that couldn't help but remember the atrocities she'd been forced to commit.  
  
She was free. She was with people who cared about her. She was alive.  
  
She no longer was dependent on a Power Key Staff, nor was she named IFR 103. Her raw power level had taken a nosedive. All of which were things she could live with.   
  
So while she snuggled closer to her fiance and tried to find solace from her memories, something else was occurring.  
  
She had been turned human by the wish, but part of it had been a wish that she be able to understand and be a proper fiancee/girlfriend/potential lifemate for one Ranma Saotome. Which meant that in order to just survive some of his usual problems, she had to be somewhat more competent in battle than Lynn Minmei and capable of withstanding more single-combat-round damage than a typical fashion otaku.  
  
So she was no longer an Ifurita, but she wasn't exactly a Macross bridge bunny either.   
  
A Macross bridge bunny wouldn't have been able to carry Ranma through two train connections, a six hour bus ride, and a three hour hike. Even in female form.   
  
Especially with all the side trips and "wow, lookitatthat" running around to examine things that both Ranma and Nodoka took in stride.   
  
No longer being a Weapon Of Mass Destruction was pretty good by *her* reckoning at least.   
  
She wasn't crying because she was being tormented by memories of being that Weapon.  
  
She wasn't crying in her sleep due to the downgrade of her operational parameters.  
  
The little smile and the tears were all from finding a home.  
  
IFR 103 never had a home. The closest term in modern languages would be a silo or weapons locker where she had been stockpiled against future need.  
  
A home was not simply a place where a unit could be inactive and on call. It was not defined by terms like "active response time" or "combat efficiency" or the like.  
  
A home was defined by caring.  
  
================  
  
ROUND ROBIN: "When You Wish Upon A Sword" is a round-robin story. Which means that no single author controls it, or is responsible for it, and it is open for others to contribute to it. One writer sparks another, whose contribution inspires - etc. People wanting to contribute please keep in mind that this is a Ranma + Ranko fic being written at Phillip Chan's request. Any other pairings/developments are up for development.  
Nodoka's father is either James Bond or Indiana Jones, or something like that in this fic.  
  
  
  



	5. 

When You Wish Upon A Sword, ch.5  
a round robin fic  
this chapter by Metroanime (Gregg Sharp)  
  
R.Takahashi and VIZ own Ranma 1/2. this is just a different spin on the same characters.  
  
While Ryoga wandered around Wahiawa in Oahu, others were on the main island.  
  
"DIAMOND-HEAD-BUTT!"  
  
Akane groaned and got up as the sound of martial artists trying to beat the royal snot out of each other sounded across the beach.  
  
"Hah! Your Diamond Head Butt technique is ineffective against one who has studied its counter! Behold now the true terror of Hawaiian Martial Arts! SHADY PALM!"  
  
Nabiki moved past Akane, heading towards the sounds of two aspiring martial artists on the beach. Akane spent a moment watching her slightly older sister, then curiously followed.  
  
Nabiki went out to where Mister Saotome and Mister Kuno were facing each other. Genma was standing on some pole in a crane position, while Godai Kuno was in something that looked like a modified crane stance - barber shears in his hands.  
  
She watched as Nabiki pulled a mighty mallet from somewhere and went rushing across the sands.  
  
*WHAM!* *WHAM!*  
  
Landing on the sands, Genma looked over at the prone, shaven, flattened figure of Nabiki with a blink. "Nabiki? When did you start practicing the martial arts?"  
  
"Keiki shouldn't get involved when we gotta dispute to iron out," mourned the patriarch of the Kuno clan. "Sasuke!"  
  
A dark form appeared, startling Akane who hadn't seen the figure approach. Or had she been lurking there all the time?  
  
"Sasuke is not available, my lord. He has gone to shop for medicinals for the mistress."  
  
Akane blinked, the girl in the sand-colored ninja suit had blonde hair and a "bimboish" voice. Her first instinct was to come between THAT and her sister. Except that her stomach was *still* upset from some of this spicy food they had here.  
  
"Ah, well. Sunabara, take the keiki inside and see what you can do," Kuno turned his attention back to Genma. "We be settling this some udda day, now we getta ready for breakfast."(1)  
  
The ninja nodded, then gathered up the slightly flattened mercenary.   
  
Akane leaned back into the hallway as the ninja looked in her direction, then slowly peeked out again. When she did, there was no sign of Nabiki or the blonde ninja-girl.  
  
"Akane, breakfast."  
  
Hearing her mother's voice, and reminding herself that the Kunos were their *allies* now, Akane dismissed the possibilities of anything bad happening to Nabiki.  
  
------  
  
Where it was early morning in Hawaii, dawn was still far away in Okinawa where Cologne's group had gathered, and even further distant if one went into the mountains of Japan where Nodoka had taken her charges.  
  
But ripples were still spreading from the two magical events that had taken place.  
  
Ranma's wish had been for the mothers of those present to be returned. His current weakness was partly due to the lifeforce taken for that event. Mrs Tendo, Mrs Kuno, Mrs Kuonji, Shampoo's mother - all returned from beyond the grave. Which made their legal status dicey. The Kunos had quietly used money and influence - and the paperwork for both Kimiko Tendo and Keiko Kuno was being built. Cologne had influence beyond the simple village, and was using such to put together similar documents for Miao Yin (Shampoo's mother) and Chukyo Kuonji.(2)  
  
The ripples of *that* event were relatively small. The modern age had everyone shackled metaphorically to large chains of documents that existed to define that individual. Money or connections could alter this bureaucratic karma to some extent.   
  
The second event also produced ripples. These were being altered by the Goddess of J-Pop, Celeste. Ranko may have been an Ifurita weapons system that had been slammed into the Antarctic after an unfortunate altercation with a device known as "the Eye Of God" but records would now show her as being born Ranko Sanguichi - and Ranma's fiance from long before Genma had even met Nodoka.  
  
Some of this was Celeste's weaving of fates. Sanguichi was of a family of devilhunters. Their school of swordsmanship - the hokushin ittouryuu (Northstar Sword Style Martial Art) used chi "charging" of blades and other chi and sword techniques to slay demons devils and similar problems. The family was one of several with a long responsibility in keeping Japan free of supernatural evil. Unfortunately, the family line had died out a little over a decade ago.  
  
Celeste had found this thread and wove it in without considering that there might be... complications. She'd noticed the arrangement between Nodoka and her friend, and that a line of devilhunters had died out. Looked like a situation that needed to be fixed.  
  
None of which helped Tsubasa Kurenai, still trapped in the freezer of a certain okonomiyaki restaurant, of course.  
  
It *did* however explain why a ghostly entity with dreams of conquering the mortal plane suddenly had a chill sensation.  
  
It also explained why, in the middle of the night, Cologne rose from her meditations (her advanced chi mastery lowered the need for such things as sleep) to reach for the I-Ching and wonder why she had the feeling that things were about to get exciting again.  
  
It also explained why Nodoka's pager suddenly vibrated on the nightstand as an old friend and relative got wind that "Nippon Nodoka" was adventuring again.  
  
It had nothing to do with Tatewaki Kuno's dream of at last claiming the beauteous Akane Tendo - and with their parents' blessing at that.(3)  
  
---------  
  
When Nabiki awoke it was to find that the clumsy job done by Godai Kuno had been completed. Instead of a large swath of hair missing, giving her a sort of inverted mohawk, she was very nearly bald. There was a thin amount of hair on her scalp, looking like something a new recruit to the military would have. She managed a weak eep, as screaming wasn't even sufficient for this level of horror.  
  
She'd always preferred short hair. Her pageboy "helmet" cut had been about as long as she'd normally consider it. This was considerably shorter than she'd prefer. Most of the guys she knew had longer hair.   
  
Staring at the image in the mirror, Nabiki wondered whether she should take up religion as a hobby. A brief stint trying to reintroduce herself to the martial arts after a ten year hiatus had reminded her of why she disliked the martial arts. She preferred aerobics, yoga, tennis, and similar things. They could be done alone or with a single partner, didn't come with bizarre side effects like hairlessness or Jusenkyo curses, and one normally was merely sore from tired muscles or the like. People didn't usually attack you for no apparent reason to prove that they were better at you in dance-aerobics, nor was it considered de rigeur for even a yoga master to have vengeance-crazed rivals.  
  
Though originally, Nabiki had given up martial arts simply because she didn't care for competing against Akane when her younger sister had more talent in that area. Everything they had in common, sooner or later Nabiki and Akane would compete against each other in.  
  
Now this. Nabiki frowned as other details penetrated past the horror of the lost hair. *Someone* had tucked her into bed. The last thing she remembered was feeling Godai Kuno's swipe with his hair cutters. Then something heavy slamming into her head, likely the other set of electric shears. That was it.  
  
So *someone* had evened out her cut. Also had taken off her clothes. Nabiki checked. Same panties as she'd had earlier. So they hadn't been *too* hentai.  
  
She reluctantly shut that aside as she simply held her head and tried to will the headache down to bearable levels.  
  
Easier to think about the wedding. Yes, the wedding.  
  
It had an odd ring to it: Akane Kuno.  
  
Mainly it was because Kuno's family had more wealth that Akane would take HIS name, otherwise their social standing was fairly close. Both the Tendo and Kuno families had come from samurai clans, also the Saotomes for the matter. Kuno's had been slightly higher in such circles prior to the Disarmament. They'd retained some land and wealth, and had parlayed that at the right time in order to build up a pharmaceuticals industry. The Tendos had fared almost as well, up until World War II. Afterwards, the Tendos were almost destitute. They retained a tiny amount of their land, on which their home was rebuilt, and that was it. The Kunos had their home survive the fires intact, and the business had also managed to cling to life even in that harsh time.  
  
Some people thought Nabiki liked Tatewaki Kuno. Some people, Nabiki conceded, had better imaginations than she did. She wished Tatewaki and Akane well. Certainly Tatewaki was in for some surprises. In keeping with his typical "epic samurai" paradigm, Nabiki guessed that he would expect Akane to act the part of a deferential and supportive wife. One who would cook and clean and raise his children without a harsh word.  
  
Boy, would *he* be in for a rude awakening.  
  
She'd given Sasuke 3:1 odds that Akane would make a break for it, their mothers' wishes not withstanding, probably on the day of the ceremony when it all penetrated. Sasuke didn't have a whole lot of money, but he thought that Akane would do the honorable thing and go along with the marriage without more than a token resistance. Just in case, though, he made sure there would be lifeguards nearby in case Akane decided to swim for Japan.  
  
The marriage would do the Tendo family quite a bit of good. Their finances were typically so low that it was a wonder that Kasumi could bring home groceries at all. Even if it was typically just rice and whatever she could make out of the bargain sale items, and not the more expensive kind of rice either, she'd been performing daily miracles just staying in the budget.  
  
The marriage would do the Kuno family some good as well. Tatewaki finally gets his Akane. And if anyone could knock some sense into Tatewaki Kuno, then between his mother and Akane they ought to be able to manage it.  
  
Kuno was still railing against the evil Saotome, then switching to "and yet hath the villain not redeemed himself" and then praising Ranma, only to break off into confused muttering thereafter. Tatewaki was definitely in need of some stability.  
  
No, Nabiki was not even slightly upset at this turn of events. She was sorry that she'd misused Ranma, who had proven in one single moment that she'd underestimated him. She'd pegged him as wrongly as Akane had with the title of "pervert" that she still pigeonholed Ranma with to some extent. No, Ranma was far from perfect (though in the manner of dealing with the dead it was far better to praise them for their good points than to insult their memories with their faults) but he'd done far better than Nabiki would have ever guessed.  
  
Nabiki had regained her mother. Her family would finally be solvent. And she had something deep to think about that had taken up a lot of her time since the morning after her mother's resurrection.  
  
There was a Heaven. Not entirely perfect from what she'd gathered, certainly a far cry from the boring image of people in bathrobes sitting on clouds while strumming harps, but there was an Afterlife and there was a Heaven. There was also, from what that odd visitor had said, a Hell. As with the Heaven, so too the Hell seemed to be different. Pink flamingos? Suburbs?  
  
Ranma, the originator of the Wish, had been known to that odd visitor. He had known Nabiki Tendo by name as well. THAT was concerning. Though for some reason that person had seemed to think that Ranma knew something about engines.  
  
Since recovering the morning after she'd cried herself to sleep in her mother's room, Nabiki had been trying to remember every word and nuance from that visitor. He'd used an odd word in English: "timeline." Her English skills were pretty good, but that hadn't been in her vocabulary.   
  
Nabiki grimaced. Her head hurt horribly. Her thinking was going off in all sorts of odd directions. Time for another nap to see if that would help.  
  
Besides, she was sure there was someone worse off than her dealing with repercussions of these events.  
  
--------  
  
Inside a freezer at the Ucchan's, someone sneezed in the dark.  
  
--------  
  
Cologne was a riddle of contradictions to some people. Some saw her as the old fashioned stuck-in-a-rut overseer of Amazon customs and law. Some as a manipulative villain. Some as a slightly senile old woman who was a half century past her role's usefulness.   
  
She herself preferred the aged-but-wise-mentor who'd really prefer seeing her great granddaughter settle down and have some kids while she watches from the sidelines. Unfortunately, darn few people saw her that way. She generally saw herself as such, however. Though sometimes she privately found herself wishing that Shampoo had fallen in love with some nice guy and arranged to be defeated by him. (Something along the relationship that had burgeoned between Lilac and Douglas a few decades previously, or perhaps like Liao Bing had developed with *her* beau, perhaps.)   
  
Cologne, as a sometimes-wise elder, was up earlier than Shampoo. Which was earlier than Ukyo, who herself would get up before the two still-weakened mothers.  
  
It would be a busy day. The mothers were gaining strength rapidly under her direction, but they still would take some time to fully recover. There were meals to prepare, exercises to lead them through, naps to supervise, and details still needing to be done about covering their paper trail. Oh yes, and Ukyo would be inducted (with her mother's permission) into the Amazon tribe after a few more days preparation.  
  
It simplified matters greatly. Also Ukyo qualified. An abused child who had spent years alone in the world. A girl who had refused to accept a subservient role and had developed good combat skills. Yes, Ukyo Kuonji had all the makings of a proper Amazon.  
  
Then there was her current project.  
  
Fire reading sometimes required a sacred fire. If you were really really good or experienced, any flame would do. Such as the flames on a gas burner in a Chinese restaurant.   
  
There were times that even the most experienced needed a sacred flame just to penetrate veils and get details. Which is why Cologne chose 4am at a Shinto shrine to do her fire-reading. She didn't have to answer a lot of stupid questions that way.  
  
After a half hour of studying the flames, scrying with the I-Ching, and examining tea leaves, Cologne had come to several conclusions.  
  
One: Ranma was alive. Not completely well, and weakened, but alive. He would face danger soon, however, and it was a malign presence.   
  
Two: Ranma would not end up with Shampoo OR Ukyo. There was someone else, someone both new and old, who was now in the already complicated tangle that was Ranma's destiny. It was NOT, however, Akane Tendo. Trying to get Ukyo and Shampoo to give up on Ranma would be difficult, however. Maybe if she found each of them someone else to fixate on. Same with Mousse for that matter.  
  
Three: Yukie on the "Young And The Breathless" was going to have Shingo's baby, ignoring the relationship she had going with Yoshinori or that she was actually engaged to Jo. Meanwhile Shingo would confess his love to Akiko and the two would engage in some heavy liplock for the rest of the season until it was finally revealed that Jo was actually Akiko dressing like a man when her multiple personality disorder was acting up. Then Shingo would quietly slip away only to find out that Yukie had had his baby only to tell Yoshinori that it was *his* baby...  
  
Cologne hadn't seen any reason not to get some idea of how one of her favorite soaps was doing.   
  
Noting that 4am had become 6am sometime during her efforts, Cologne gave a weary little sigh and rolled to her feet. She was getting too old for this.   
  
The return of one of their own had given Cologne an excuse to terminate both the Kiss Of Marriage and Kiss Of Death even if Ranma were to show up on their doorstep the very next day. Not that Shampoo had ever given a serious effort to killing Akane Tendo after that Kiss Of Death, and she'd been just as likely to come to the youngest Tendo's aid as attack her.  
  
The Nichieju Elder started speeding towards the beach. Maybe she could catch a nap later. She was getting entirely too old for this.  
  
--------  
  
Motion in the bed stirred Ranma, but he was not having any of it. Reserves had been depleted, then had come a surge of entirely wrong energy, then had come the slow bringing back of normal power.  
  
Besides, he was comfortable. He was at peace, however alien the thought might have been. Him? Ranma Saotome? Warm and comfortable on a soft bed? Preposterous! One might as well expect the sun to rise in the North. No fiancee splashing him with cold water and calling him names? No father throwing him outside for a quick sparring match (old man had to cheat just to keep up)? Ludicrous!  
  
Ranma felt the cool air blowing in off the ocean as someone opened the sliding door to the room. He protested the unwelcome intrusion and curled closer to a source of warmth. Yes. Much better. Except that the warmth was moving?  
  
Eyes shot open to see a red mop of hair, attached to a very curvy bundle which was responding in a similar manner to what Ranma had just a moment ago. In other words, she was latching on to a convienent source of warmth.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Ranma managed, realizing that he was still a she at the moment and that his identical twin was there in bed with him/her. And... oh yeah.  
  
"Oh, and you two were so cute like that," Nodoka Saotome said quietly, smiling slightly as Ranma dropped from where he'd suddenly been clinging to the ceiling. "Well, at least you're both up."  
  
Ranko gave her twin a disgusted look. "Ranma, could you find a quieter way to wake up? I'm still getting used to being human."  
  
"Sorry," mumbled Ranma.   
  
"It's just as well, I've got someone for you two to meet." Nodoka took a deep breath of the fresh sea air. "My sensei, you could say, who taught me the basics of adventuring when I was younger."  
  
Ranma muzzily asked the obvious. "Indiana Jones?"(4)  
  
"Not quite," said Nodoka. "We're meeting him for breakfast."  
  
-------------  
  
Akane did a number of things poorly. Restrain her temper. Cook. Almost any activity that required patience or was considered traditionally feminine in Japanese terms. Which included tea ceremony and flower arranging, not that either had anything at all to do with this story.  
  
Akane DID actually excel at a number of activities as well. Fighting groups of ten to twenty hormonally addled boys of minimal combat experience. Breaking boards and bricks. Jogging. She also had a pretty good fashion sense and could choose clothes that made her look pretty cute. Which was one of the reasons she had to deal with the hormonally addled boys, but there's good and bad in almost everything. And while it could be said that a LARGE number of Ranma's rivals, challengers, and romantic interests were stronger and/or better fighters, Akane *was* a decent martial artist in her own right.  
  
In the elemental approach to martial arts, Akane Tendo of the Anything Goes School Of Martial Arts was Earth element. Strong and durable, tough and enduring. However, the trade off was that she was slow and it took her some time to change course.  
  
Sometimes she suffered from the same sort of foot-in-mouth disease that plagued all practitioners of Anything Goes martial arts, after all - the school's precept being Action Before Thought.   
  
"m-m-m-m-married?! To KUNO?!" Akane twitched. Even coming from her mother, this was pretty horrible as ideas went. And finding this out in a popular family restaraunt setting (ie: it was a crowded House Of Pancakes in the early morning.)  
  
"Yes, it became obvious that you two had serious feelings for each other just by watching you," Kimiko Tendo said from her position at the table. "This has already met your father's approval. Three months from now, a fairly large ceremony I would think."  
  
Soun nodded. Though he also looked like he was ready to fall face forward into his oatmeal.   
  
Akane's voice was very small. "me and kuno?"  
  
"Since you're engaged, maybe you should call him 'koibito' or 'kareshi'," suggested Kimiko.  
  
"Maybe 'Tate-chan' or 'Sweetheart'," suggested Kasumi helpfully.  
  
"me and kuno?"  
  
"How about 'anata' - that's traditional," suggested Nabiki, adjusting her wig slightly. "Kuno's family is pretty traditional, right Sasuke?"  
  
"kuno? and me?"  
  
Sasuke nodded repeatedly. "Yes, the Kunos are very bulwarks of tradition. In some ways at least. In others they sort of throw the book completely out the window. Actually, considering Mister Kuno's fondness for Hawaii, using an English term might be appropriate. Say 'dear' or 'sweetheart' or 'love' or something along that line."  
  
"married?"  
  
"Yes, and when you have children, it will assure the Tendo family legacy!" Soun nodded again. Then slowly and with some manner of dignity, he fell face first into his oatmeal.  
  
"children?"  
  
Kimiko smiled and considered Akane's expression. Ah, young love. If she didn't know better it would look like stark terror. But Akane was always the fearless one.  
  
Kasumi clasped her hands together and turned an inquiring gaze towards her youngest sister. "Do you want the first one to be a boy or a girl? What kind of names do you think would be most appropriate?"  
  
"Excuse me?" Akane got her voice back. "Children? Names? Are you sure you don't want to have me married immediately?"  
  
Akane had meant it as sarcasm.   
  
Her mother clapped her hands together, delighted. "What a wonderful idea! Sasuke, can you get the Kunos and see what they say?"  
  
Tatewaki appeared, as if by magic. "OF COURSE! Clearly the young maiden, broken hearted by the losses recently, is anxious to find solace in the arms of her future husband! We should commence immediately!"  
  
Mrs Kuno turned, revealing that they were at the next table. "Excellent. We can have a full formal ceremony later. We have had enough of death and mourning. Let today be of life and hope!"  
  
"WHAT?!" Akane stood, shock falling away from her. "But you can't!"  
  
Kodachi looked her over briefly, then whipped out a cloth briefly to cover Akane. When she whipped it away a moment later, it was to reveal Akane wearing a Western style wedding gown.  
  
"WHAT?! HOW?!"  
  
Kodachi shrugged. "I had one ordered. Looks like I overestimated the chest a little, and it seems tight in the waist. Ah well, we can make alterations later."  
  
Akane trembled for a moment, then tossed the bouquet to Nabiki. "Here, could you hold this? I just remembered something that I left a burner on. Uhm. Bye!" *ZOOOOOoooooooom!*  
  
"Poor dear must be shy," Kimiko theorized.   
  
"AKANE TENDO! MY DEAREST!" Tatewaki Kuno pursued the frail but shy flower.  
  
Nabiki exchanged a glance with those around her. "You realize, of course, what this situation calls for."  
  
There were many nods.  
  
-------------  
  
A dark haired woman looked up from her magazine to look at the odd procession. "Boris, these Americans get crazier all the time."  
  
"They're Americans, Natasha," agreed Boris as if that explained it all.  
  
Natasha nodded. "Mousse and squirrel are coming over for bridge later."  
  
Boris nodded back. Then reached over and deliberately touched a button on his boom box. "Bennie Hill Chase Music" began playing.  
  
In the background, Akane ran, barefoot and wearing a wedding dress. Tatewaki right behind her.  
  
Behind *him*, the rest of her family (her mother being carried on a sedan chair by four burly blonde gentlemen, Mrs Kuno in a similar arrangement right beside her) in close pursuit.   
  
Behind *them* the entire crowd from the "International House Of Pancakes" who in turn was followed by who were followed by a large number of surfers and other young people who were certain that with this large a crowd there had to be a really good party about to commence, followed in their turn by a number of whistle blowing police (this parade did not have a permit after all) who were followed by a fair crowd of surf ninjas who had heard that Happosai's disciples were present and someone was overdue for a butt-whipping.  
  
Natasha merely nodded. The music seemed oddly appropriate.  
  
---------  
  
(1) Sunabara - "sand rose". Hawaiian ninja. Original Character. Had an idea for "Mihoshi as a ninja-alchemist servant" and figured i might as well try it out.  
  
(2) Kimiko Tendo, Keiko Kuno, Chukyo Kuonji, and Miao Yin are not the official names of these characters. There *are* no official names for these characters. If Kimiko offends thee, do a global replace on your copy.  
  
(3) Really, is Tatewaki+Akane that much harder to picture than Shampoo+Mousse? Yet most link up the two Amazons without considering the parallels the two pairs have. Look at the original series.  
Ranma insults Akane. Akane hits Ranma. Nodoka, Genma, Soun, even Kasumi - all state in the manga at one time or another (Kasumi did during the Battle Dogi) that this is proof that Ranma and Akane love each other. Kuno tries to hit Akane all the time. Akane insults and hits Kuno all the time. By using Takahashi logic, this means that Tatewaki Kuno and Akane really do have affection for each other. So, why not get these two lovebirds together? The Tatewaki+Akane pairing has at least as much reasonableness as Shampoo+Mousse.  
  
(4) No. This is not Ranma's grandfather. Unless Jack Staik wants to take part in this round robin. Which frankly seems as unlikely as it would be welcome.  
  



	6. Chapter 6

  
When You Wish Upon A Sword, ch.6  
a round robin fic  
this chapter by Metroanime (Gregg Sharp)  
  
R.Takahashi and VIZ own Ranma 1/2. this is just a different spin on the same characters.  
  
NOTE this is the last segment of "When You Wish" that i'm putting out.   
  
The entire thing started as an omake for an attempt to write a lemon (Twisted, and didn't get nearly as lemon as i'd intended) and was continued for Philip Chan who wanted to see a Ranko+Ranma story. The major appeal to me was the round-robin concept, where i wanted to see other people get in on this and see what kind of creative cooperative effort could be done. Unfortunately, Jared (White Pheonix) dropped out of the project due to the nature of some responses and Philip hasn't said a word about the very project he requested since chapter two.  
  
i just wanted to finish out some ideas before dropping this.   
  
------------  
  
The man was old. Really old. Not old in the manner of Happosai or Cologne, where they simply seemed to shrink and wrinkle over the years. Nor did he resemble a faded green muppet from Star Wars. The signs were of similar age, though.  
  
Ranma had been raised judging people in terms of combat potential. It was only since his time with the Tendos that he'd gotten the idea that one's threat potential was not the sole criteria to judge others on.   
  
The figure was stooped with age, resting heavily on a cane. Taller than he was, almost skeletal in appearance, and obviously not in the best of health. A gaijin, though that didn't mean as much to Ranma as it did to some other Japanese.  
  
According to what Ranma read in posture and bearing, this was someone who had once been extremely dangerous. A warrior who had once been his equal but had faded over the years to a shell. It gave Ranma a taste of mortality to see this and to observe that the man's chi was all but completely faded from his frame.  
  
"Nippon Nodoka," said the man with a nod. "I've a table over here where the breeze touches."  
  
Nodoka bowed low. "Great Grandfather."  
  
Ranma startled at that and looked over the figure again.  
  
The man caught the scrutiny and gave a tight smile in return. "Great great grandson. Though I think for simplicity's sake, I'll just call you grandson."  
  
Ranma blinked. He had non-Japanese ancestry? How far back?  
  
"Hmmm. Suppose you *should* know," said the man, walking slowly towards the table and then seating himself on one of the chairs with a very audible sigh. "One of your ancestors moved to AmJamesa during the days of the Tokugawa era, it was not *popular* to have contacts with Westerners at that time."  
  
Ranma gave a blank look at that. It was *fatal* to have much in the ways of contacts with Westerners at that time. Taking a seat next to Ranko and his mother, he listened without saying anything. For years all the family he'd had was Genma. Now he had more than doubled that size.  
  
The old man looked off into the distance. "A family named Saotome which moved to AmJamesa and settled in the Old West. They survived there, and a young girl named Michiko met a young gunfighter named James. Though he was a soldier-of-fortune, he spent twenty years with his wife. It wasn't until later, mainly due to people who were only interested in how much money they could make screwing over others, that things turned hostile towards mixed marriages."  
  
"So, that means that I'm..." Ranma knew that *not* being pure Japanese would have gotten him kicked out of the Tendo marriage. As well as a lot of jobs.  
  
"Your father's line is pure Japanese. Your mother's parents were apparently Japanese who moved back to Japan after WWII and the idiocy of those AmJamesan concentration camps." The man settled back. "I myself am half Comanche. Does this bother you?"  
  
Ranma shook his head. Just knowing this would have ended Kodachi's pursuit of him, most likely gotten him kicked out of the Tendo household. Akane might have been able to handle it. Akane's dad? Probably not. One of the reasons he'd been big on Saotome+Tendo was the idea that both were old samurai lines. Would Shampoo or Ukyo have cared? Probably not. At least this was better than being burakumin or something like that. (Though *that* had been a prejudice that Ranma had never quite understood either, but then there were an awful lot of things that Ranma would admit privately made absolutely no sense to him.)  
  
"Great great great grandpa!" (glomp! snuggle!)  
  
James coughed. "Well, you must be Ranko. Would you mind not squeezing so hard? I'm kinda old."  
  
"Uhm, how old, anyway?" Ranma looked over the guy again, noticing old scars. Here a finger was missing, and judging by the limp, he'd broken a leg and it had never healed right.  
  
"Ranma!" Nodoka didn't approve of this impoliteness, and so gave a quiet reprimand.  
  
"It's okay, Nodoka," said James, patting the girl hugging him on her head. "I was born in 1841, child, in what's now a ghost town in a patch of California desert. It isn't even on the maps anymore. I grew up in the height of the Gold Rush, mainly as a message boy and what they'd later call a gofer. I became a mercenary and fought in little wars that never mattered one whit as much as the people who paid me thought they did. I spent some time working for the Secret Service back when they'd gotten going. At that time I met Michiko and settled down. After her death, I wandered the globe to find adventure and forget her. I had my fill and more of fighting during the drug trade as the 7% solution became all the fad in England and back East.  
  
"I've met people whom history will never remember, but who were as great in their own right as anyone that is marked down in the schoolbooks. Then I decided, must have been back in the Seventies of *this* century that I ought to look up my descendents and see what happened to the children of Michiko Tomizawa and James West."  
  
Nodoka continued the narrative as James stopped. "It was during his travels that he discovered me a little over a year since you'd left. He used his extensive contacts to set me up as an itinerant adventurer. That's what I've been doing since then."  
  
James West sighed as a plane went overhead. "I wonder what Artemis would have made of all this. It used to be so many problems could just be solved with a decent haymaker or a quick draw. Then there was... what's his name, the time traveler. Odd gadgets that should never have worked, much less efficiently. Since then I've fought undead, creatures from Beyond, the Five Horsemen Of Annoyance, and worse. But all things have their time and mine is almost over."  
  
"Oh, come on, you've got plenty of time," chided Nodoka. "You're still more spry than people half your age."  
  
Ranma worked that out slowly. Math not being his forte. The man across from him was 151, so half his age would be... 75? Heck, he was only half Cologne's age so why worry?  
  
James shook his head. "I know how much time I've got left. Less than a year. That Tibetan monk I learned the age extension trick from died himself long ago. Five years ago, that wight drained off enough of my inner strength that I haven't recovered. No, I'm finally going to rejoin Michiko, and that's the way things *should* be. However, I *may* have enough time to train another Heir."  
  
Ranma blinked as he realized everyone was looking at him. "HUH?!"  
  
-----------  
  
"Great grandmother, you no kidding?"  
  
Cologne nodded wisely. "Yes. Ranma is still alive. Where he is, that I'm not sure. It is someplace shielded against mystic probes, that much I know. And he goes from danger to danger, but that's pretty typical of him."  
  
"Then what are we waiting for, let's go!" Ukyo was all ready to go charging off without another word being said.  
  
"One," said Cologne in a dry tone, "we have no idea where he actually is."  
  
THAT stopped Ukyo. "Oh, that's right."  
  
"Two," continued Cologne, "Shampoo no longer has a claim on him. The life he brought back to the Tribe cancels out the Kiss Of Marriage's obligation."  
  
"WHAT?! Great Grandmamaaaaa!"  
  
"Don't whine, Shampoo, it is unbecoming."  
  
"Shampoo not whining," whined Shampoo.   
  
Ukyo grinned, that meant she had a clear shot at her Ranchan!  
  
"Ukyo, on the other hand, still has to undergo the Rite Of Initiation in order to become a full Amazon." Cologne tapped her staff thoughtfully against the ground. "Her mother and Shampoo's mother have agreed on this course and it is the only legal way for me to assist you in this regard."  
  
"Ranchan..." said Ukyo, her eyes misty. Soon she would go off and rescue her Ranchan, and then the wedding, and then the two of them getting to know each other better. Silk sheets, a fireplace, and much sweating entered into this picture.  
  
"Spatula girl stop drooling, that also unbecoming."  
  
  



End file.
